You Can Never Blame Cassiopeia…

OTHER FANS: I want to see oppa!

CASSIOPEIA: I want my boys to see the red ocean in my country :”)

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You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being too proud of their boys.

You don’t know how they feel whenever DBSK dedicates an award for them or how touched they are whenever they hear the melodies that only DBSK can make. You don’t know how much DBSK is proud of Cassiopeia.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being overly excited when someone commented “who’s who?” in a DBSK video.

You don’t know how much happiness they feel when new people are taking interest in DBSK because it constantly reminds them that DBSK will never fade.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if sometimes they don’t open up their minds to things that would only hurt them.

Many people are saying false rumors about the boys yet Cassiopeia constantly ignores them.

You don’t know how much pain they’ve already been through and how many tears they’ve already shed. You don’t know how it feels when you look at your favorite group’s picture and remember nothing but bittersweet memories.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being very sensitive when someone opens up the topic about the lawsuit.

You don’t know how it feels like when you sleep with your wet pillow, uncertain about what news will come out tomorrow. You don’t know how heartbreaking to foresee the possibility that your favorite group would split.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being too overprotective, sometimes selfish over their boys.

You don’t know how it feels when you knew that your favorite group is the one with the most crazy sasaengs in their own country. You don’t know how much worried they are when one of them are sick, in trouble or very tired.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they wanted to brag about the beautiful red ocean everywhere.

You don’t know how much strength they get when they see the beautiful legendary ocean of theirs. You don’t know how much of their pride is in there.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they cry their eyes out because of missing the boys.

You don’t know how much DBSK means to them. You don’t know how much love these Cassiopeians have for that five boys. You don’t know how unbreakable the bond of Cassiopeia and DBSK is.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they say that they only have DBSK in their eyes.

You don’t know how perfect DBSK is in their eyes. You don’t know that Jaejoong warned them not to cheat on DBSK (XD).

You can never blame Cassiopeia when they call themselves ‘family’ instead of a ‘fandom’.

You don’t know how many times they get their strength from their fellow Cassiopeians. You don’t know how big their smile is whenever they get to talk with a fellow Cassie. You don’t know how it feels when the reason you’re holding on is because of them.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they shout that they love DBSK every minute, everywhere.

You don’t know how many times DBSK mentioned and shouted how much each of them loves Cassiopeia. You don’t know how it feels when DBSK says that they are nothing without you.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re saying their slogan “Always keep the faith” everywhere.

You don’t know how it feels when you’re holding onto something that’s so little that all you got to do is to hold on tighter. You don’t know how it feels when the future is unknown and that you have to constantly remind yourself to keep your faith.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they feel like they’re the strongest family out there.

You don’t know every bit of pain they felt. You don’t know the details, you don’t know. You don’t know how much tears they’re already shed yet still continue to smile. You don’t know how it feels when you hurt too much that you could only give up yet they still continue to stand up and hope. You don’t know how many downfalls and heartbreaks they’ve experienced yet they still continue to keep the faith.

and you can never blame me, a Cassiopeia, for posting this.

You don’t know how it feels when some Kpop fan blames your family for being oversensitive persons or blaming and accusing them for being too boastful and stuffs. You don’t know how it feels when someone who is ignorant about everything tries to badmouth someone very superior.

I stand up for my fandom and family and that’s all that matters.

You don’t know anything so stop blaming… stop accusing…

You can never blame Cassiopeia because you don’t know a thing this family has been into. Just because their boys aren’t together to protect them, you cannot blame them. You can never accuse of them of being anything. In fact, they’re pretty much the most patient fandom there is. The most loyal and faithful, I must say ❤

Respect them. Empathize with them first before you say anything because by just showing you a picture of the red ocean, all you can do is walk away.

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and hey! I was just following what our dear Jaejoongie told us:

“Cassiopeia, show that you’re undefeated.”



When I Became Older…

I’ve written this while listening to Music Box versions of DBSK’s songs… :”)

It just came to my mind… how would I be if I get older?

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When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling at the things that would remind me of my fangirling days…

Red balloons…


letter W…

number 5…

the word ‘faith’…


I’d probably be smiling unconsciously seeing an animal that I have always associated with them…

Rhinoceros… Elephants… Dolphins… Ducks… Rabbits… Deer…

My kids would probably ask Mommy why is she fond of taking these animals’ pictures while we are strolling around the zoo…

or why does Mommy is overly jealous with a random cat who crossed the street especially with the gray ones…

When I became older…

I’d probably be laughing remembering how I force myself to learn their hard choreography…

I bet I’d be boasting my kids how their mommy is a very good dancer during her teenage years…

I’d probably be tearing up remembering how dedicated I am to my boys… and how many dorky and random things I’ve done just for them…

That I once nearly crashed the mouse just because I wanted Yunho to win on allkpop poll…

That I once literally jumped out of happiness inside a department store just because I saw a Tohoshinki album…

That I slept with my wet pillow numerous nights already…

That I told my whole family that Jaejoong is in a relationship with me

That I once felt my blood boiled in anger reading that blogsite which I now hate, hate, hate…

That I’m once a trying hard Korean-speaker wanna be and tweets JYJ with senseless things

That I became a wise money spender just because I want to buy an album…

That I stayed up late at nights just to wait for the release of a new song…

That I always have this weird dreams about them…

That I always laugh in front of my laptop because I was replacing DBSK song titles with weird words…

That I actually visited an Anti site just to understand their reasons why they hate DBSK…

That I have a hard drive full of their videos only

That I registered myself in a Homin stan site just to download videos to add in my collection…

That I have written stories about me and Jaejoong or whoever member I want to pair myself up with

That I once filled a glass bottle with little red paper stars which contains reasons why I love DBSK…

That I never forget to thank God for introducing me DBSK…

And then I’d probably laugh hard remembering how I disliked DBSK at first

How I ignored them for years…

How I used to turn off that television whenever TVXQ or JYJ is in…

And how suddenly, after searching mirotic in youtube, in just an hour… the magical story began

When I became older…

I’d probably still be reminiscing how I fell in love with my boys…

Yeah, I’d probably still be calling them my boys…

Even if they’re older than me… or even if they have their own families already…

Because even if I became a mother, I would never forget how I felt like I’m the one who took care of DBSK…

The dates that are so meaningful to me will always be remembered…

January 26, February 6, February 18, June 4, December 15, December 26…

It will always be significant that my kids would probably go on wondering why does Mommy buys a cake even though there’s no particular event…

I’d probably be laughing because those were the dates where I would open my blog and type away my super long birthday greeting which I don’t know if it could personally reach them…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be humming to their songs whenever I’m bored…

I’d probably have my garden covered with plants bearing red or white flowers

I’d probably still be listening to their capellas to make myself sleep…

When people ask me of my favorite songs, I’d probably still be citing DBSK songs…

Their ballads will still be my source of strength…

Their happy songs will still be my source of smile…

Their faces will still be the source of my heart fluttering…

Their smiles will still be the source of my heart’s tears…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be smiling proudly whenever I hear or read their names or even phrases that I associated with them…

My kids would probably go wondering why I answered Jaejoong when they ask me who my favorite Hero is…

Or wonder why Mommy smiles like a fool do whenever they tell a story about Micky Mouse…

Or thinks why Mommy suddenly laughs when they tell that they’re hungry, tired or having a headache

When I become older…

I’d probably still be pausing for seconds before I answer someone who asks me ‘What time is it?’

I’d probably laugh at myself for shipping couples like YunJae, YooSu and MinFood because I’d probably reminisce at how happy I am while spazzing with my fellow Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be boasting to my kids that I have friends all over the world, which I can trust…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling myself realizing how silly I was remembering the times I go crybaby just because I saw a member with another girl…

Then I’d probably laugh at myself because at that time, I felt it was okay if he’d be hugging another member instead.

I will remember how much laughter their dorky moments gave me…

This time, instead of laughing, I’d probably be crying… just because I miss the days…

When I became older…

My husband would probably understand me why I’d be smiling on space while I watch my kids go on a pillow fight or whenever they wear animal clothes…

I will always remember how mad I was at SM Entertainment…

I’d probably be smiling over embarrassment just because I can still remember how I was eager to kill a man together with a thousand more Cassies…

Buying bazookas, loading rifles, sharpening knives… I’d probably laugh at these things…

I will remember how I’d go crazy just seeing one of the members tweet…

And then I’d probably laugh remembering how I know that my Tlist would explode just because of that one tweet…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be feeling jealous to that Cassie that Jaejoong followed accidentally…

Or to that Cassie that Changmin has sung ‘Just The Way U Are’ to…

I’d probably go and search the world just to take a picture with the red phone booth as my background…

I’d probably smile while walking inside an oceanarium because I can imagine my boys in there just like their Mirotic concert intro movie…

My kids would probably be wondering why I am laughing when they say ‘Bonjour’

They would probably ask Mommy why she’s fond of things that are colored red…

Or asks why Mommy takes home a red balloon after attending a kid’s party…

When I became older…

 I’d probably be telling my kids my wonderful experience of being a Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be smiling at my kids while they wonder what did DBSK done to their mommy for making her love them so much…

I’d probably be telling stories about my boys rather than my own story…

My friends would probably look at me with questioning glares when they suddenly talk about their childhood favorites and mentions Final Fantasy and I laughed hysterically…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be saying ‘Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum’ whenever I see one…

My husband would probably understand me best when I face the mirror and force myself to have mismatched eyes

I’d probably still want to spell TVXQ in the sand whenever my family would go on a trip on beaches…

My kids would probably laugh at Mommy for buying red light sticks which are supposed to be kids’ toys…

They would probably ask Mommy why she puts on five dots on every last page of their notebooks…

Or laugh at her whenever she exclaims ‘Oh My God Sun’

They would probably wonder why Mommy’s friends’ call her ‘Cassie’ or why Mommy does named their sister as ‘Cassie’

I’d probably laugh when one of my kids ask why I got five dogs named ‘Hero, U-Know, Max, Micky and Xiah’

Or asks why I go mad when they can’t spell Tong Vfang Xien Qi right.

When I became older…

I’d probably be speaking in fluent Korean and Japanese already…

I’d probably want to take a picture with the Eiffel Tower and at the Grand Canyon…

I’d probably tear up while looking at the night sky… while feelings of my Cassie self is pouring in…

I’d probably be watching DBSK concerts whenever I have the time…

This time… with my husband…

This time… with my kids…

This time… as a grown-up Cassie…

Whom her heart always remembers everything she went through as a fangirl…

That God can only tell how far this woman will go for DBSK…

And how much she loves them like her own children…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling my most beautiful smile… realizing that I will always be a Cassiopeia by heart and that all these memories and moments that only Cassies and TVXQ themselves can understand will always be treasured. ❤

Why Did I Fell In Love With DBSK?

Okay… so our Internet connection was lost yesterday around 10:30PM and I was bored, I got nothing to do…

Since I love DBSK too much, I started thinking about them. 🙂 As always…

Then, I remembered a fellow Cassie asking the very specific reason why you fell in love with DBSK in the first place?

My answer has gone a bit too long… but anyways, here it is! 😀

I started typing away and didn’t realize I’m on my 8th page already… and it’s gonna be 3AM soon. xD

NOTE: I am going to tell you my… err, not entire… but a bit of story about how I met them and other stuffs. I was an f(x) fan, SONE and Shawol back then and as you read on… you’ll notice that I’ll be mentioning them. I may compare but don’t get me wrong… I love all of these groups for they became my stepping stone to meeting DBSK. It’s not that I don’t like them or I hate them but when DBSK enters the story… everything changes. 🙂

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One of the hardest questions that was asked to me was: What is the very specific reason that made you fell in love with DBSK?

I am now a Cassiopeia, who is keeping the faith, particularly… but I wonder…

why is it so damn hard to answer that single question?

Is it because I don’t know the answer? Or I have so many reasons, too much to choose only one?

I know… I don’t know how to start this thing, so let’s go back to my first days with TVXQ, how I ignored them through the years, up to my first tear for them, first laugh, first smile, up until now.

Back in 2009, I met f(x) and Girls’ Generation through the help of my friend, who loves K-pop. I am a dancer and I was looking for something to do for my talent portion and she gave me the link for La Chata and Gee. After that, my other friend gave me the link to TVXQ’s Purple Line. It was a dance practice, actually. I watched it and when I came halfway, I closed the video. I thought the dance was way too hard, plus, I don’t like it because of the mere fact that I don’t know who they are. Yeah, I know… I made a wrong move with that. ^_^ v

Then November 2011 came… I am Shawol that time, and I think that SHINee are just way too awesome, like everything’s perfect already. I started going crazy about reading Asianfanfics and came across a writer that I really loved because she writes amazing stories. She is a fan of SMTown artists actually, and she always makes stories with her biases as the lead characters.

I loved her story about how these five idols from different groups made up a new team. They are making their new album with Mirotic as the title track. Then the chapter where they record for the song came, I remember my Girls’ Generation bias Yoona gets Jaejoong’s lines. I don’t know who the heck Jaejoong was back then. -.-” Yeah, I admit it… I am such a kid living under a rock for being ignorant about the hottest guy on K-pop ever. Then on the story, Changmin keeps complaining about how Yoona’s voice sound like this and like that when it should sound sharp like how Jaejoong delivers it.

My curiosity for Mirotic and how Jaejoong delivers the line raised… which made me look up for Mirotic’s lyrics and a Mirotic video. The first result from my youtube seach was a dance video. I clicked on it, planning to see the dance as well, as I am a dancer, too. I can clearly remember, how I repeated the video like, ten times or so. I couldn’t say that I fell in love with TVXQ because of looks. Clearly not… as I remember myself talking about how Junsu, Yoochun and Yunho looks old and not that handsome compares to other guys while I find Changmin and Jaejoong as the okay type. Don’t bash on me… It’s a dance video, plus, it’s my nature back then to just ignore idol groups that I’m not a fan of. It’s completely normal to me. But the next thing I knew, I was singing along to the song, searching for more of their music and even searching up the members’ names.

I have forgotten about reading fanfictions. I became busy trying to recognize their faces and differentiate each. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their looksJaejoong and Changmin became the top two idols on my list with amazing facial features. I loved how Jaejoong looked like he jumped out of an anime series or whatever. I loved Yunho’s charismatic look, the way he would always frown in the camera and how he look so damn sharp in Mirotic. I loved Junsu’s cute look and always find it amazing how hot he looks like in Mirotic, it’s like the way total opposite! I loved Yoochun’s… hair? Haha! He looks completely like the normal and average guy to me… Well, atleast he doesn’t look that ugly to me like I first saw him in the video. Don’t get me wrong I love Yoochun, too! In fact, all five of them holds a special place in my heart. ❤

I watched Purple Line’s dance video again that time and asked myself, “Why did I ignore them all this time?” That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their talent for dancingI love how everyone is in sync, doing those extra-hard choreographies. Other groups use patterns in their choreographies that only need synchronization for their dances, like, they just need to rely on one another to complete the dance but in DBSK another thing is needed, and that’s skill. I am such a complete babo how I appreciated the dance like, two years later. Is DBSK that hot that I need two friggin’ years to absorb them? O.o

That night, I can still remember, the first time I listened to a DBSK ballad. I came with their video in A-Nation singing the song Why Did I Fall in Love with You? It was one of the turning points in my life; I was completely dazed by these guys. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of the fact that they sing from their hearts. It has always amazed me how they seem to be the one who fell in love with their friend who’s going to marry another guy. Like, really. I have seen f(x), Girls’ Generation, SHINee and even other groups sing ballads, but it is only in DBSK where I have seen such passion for it, for living out the emotions within the song, for bringing out their hearts while singing. Trust me, only in them.

The second ballad I listened to was Love in the Ice. It actually sounded familiar to me that time, as it was used for one of Girls’ Generation tribute video by a fan. I’m a SONE that time, remember? 🙂 That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their singing abilities. One of the things I am most proud about right now is the fact that DBSK CAN sing. Like, each of them, all five of them, can hit high notes, can sing passionately, perfect. I’ve been exposed to other groups before DBSK that’s why my amazement for DBSK is way too high. I’ve been used to groups who got one or two main and lead singers, the other members for visual and dancers, that’s why when I met SHINee, I thought they’re perfect, for having three to four members who can actually hit high notes. But in DBSK, all five can… being a visual, or a main dancer is an add-on. Just a side note, I listened to their song Tonight, too. And I was completely blown by Junsu’s first high note followed by Changmin’s up to Jaejoong’s to die for falsetto. I couldn’t blink my eyes for an hour there, haha! Just kidding… but they completely amazed me, as always.

After repeating Love in the Ice over and over again, err… yes I did that, I even messaged it to my friend, I saw a cappella video of them. I clicked it and listened to it. That moment was damn WOW. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can harmonize as one. It’s the first time for me to listen to an idol group sing an actual a cappella, where they use their voices as background music or instruments… that magical moment when five individual voices becomes one. It always amazes me that up until now, DBSK never needed back-up singers, because they back-up one another by themselves.

And because I want something groovy to lighten up the atmosphere, I searched for Mirotic live. At that time, I haven’t seen DBSK perform a dance song yet, just ballads. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can sing perfectly while dancing energetically. I’m okay with hearing breathing sounds while watching a live version of a song because I was used to f(x) and Girls’ Generation’s performances. They always have those heavy breathing sounds while singing and I’m okay with it, saying it’s a proof that they’re singing live. But in DBSK? Heck no, it’s so freakin’ rare that you would actually hear them pant heavily on microphones. You can see their shoulders going up and down rapidly from panting but you can never hear it. That’s what you call AMAZING. It’s so funny how in DBSK, even without those breathing sounds, I can easily say if they’re lip-synching or not. A lot of people say that their live version is better than those recorded, and I have to say I completely agree. Two thumbs up! Do you want my feet up, too? 😀

Yes, that night, that day, I became hyped… finding and discovering the perfect group out there. Okay, I promise they’ll be the last, I’ve called f(x) perfect too, then I discovered Girls’ Generation, then SHINee. Guilty, I proclaimed them as perfect, too. But now I am certain! DBSK is the one. 🙂

After getting myself dizzy from all the hotness and everything, I came to know more about the break-up. That’s my breaking point that time. I didn’t know how and why, but I found myself crying, watching a tribute video for them. That’s the time, I REALIZE THAT I AM, INDEED, IS A CASSIOPEIA ALREADY. I have always reminded myself not to fall too much because I know myself; I am a sensitive person who has shallow tears. I know that being completely hooked up in DBSK won’t do any better for me and that it will just drop me in a dark abyss to which I can never escape. I cried myself out… thinking why, does it have to be them? Fearing the fact that they will be just memories forever.

That time I realized, DBSK was just there all along, I just ignored them. There are many instances that I have come across DBSK, HoMin and JYJ at different occasions yet I have been ignoring them all these time. It flooded back to me, memories of how I’ve seen them, where I’ve seen them, and how I reacted was perfectly detailed in my memory, clear and lucid like a transparent glass. I remember when I was a SONE, the time where I tried looking for Purple Line’s dance video again, but ended up watching the Wrong Number MV. I remember how I laughed at Micky’s I really wanna touch myself line. Another instance, I saw JYJ on TV, their Ayy Girl MV actually. I saw the lyrics and they are in English, but I have always wondered that time, why is it that they don’t look like Americans? They look like Koreans to me… O.o I’m telling you, that’s my exact thought. And as the usual, I turned off the TV, not even completing the whole song. I remembered when I became interested in searching up MR Removed live performances. You can look up on my messages in FB, I have messaged my friends a lot of MR Removed videos, and I remembered how I sent them a Mirotic video, with the captions They’re the best. I’m such a babo and couldn’t stop myself from thinking… Why did I said They’re the best yet I didn’t became a Cassie? I remembered how I see them as… like a bunch of old perfectly talented idols from the past. Like, don’t bash on me, but that’s how I actually saw them as… until I learnt that Super Junior is older than DBSK. LOL, just kidding! I found it out when I became a Cassie but back when I was a SONE, I look up on them just exactly the way how I see Shinhwa right now. My respect for them is sooo high, you can’t even imagine…  Another funny situation, because I was a SONE back then, I always tune in to Music Bank to watch them. That time I came running late for the usual time slot, a bit of confident as I know how Girls’ Generation gets to perform the last… but surprisingly, when I turned on the TV, there are two guys in checkered white and black singing. That’s HoMin. They sang Keep Your Head Down and Rising Sun, I think? It’s Music Bank in Tokyo, right? Am I right? Oh God, I’m losing my memory… but I’m sure you guys can remember that performance. My brother and my cousin were there with me, tolerating my Kpop madness. My brother bet on me, saying those two guys right there, I bet that they farted in that performance… not just in that performance, since they debuted, I bet you, I’m right… and I was just laughing at him! He keeps on insisting that HoMin farts on performances. It is only now that I have realized… that there are three more people farting with them during performances since debut. Its magic how these came back to me very detailed, I can even remember our conversation. PS. I was disappointed that time, learning that the TVXQ duo is the last performers.

It doesn’t stop right there. Though I cried my eyes out already, I continued to search for their personal backgrounds, especially Jaejoong. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because each of them had their fair share of hardships in life before getting the glory they truly deserve. I am stricken how each of their stories is inspiring. I remember crying reading about Jaejoong’s story and struggles in life and watching Yoochun cry while he tells his experience in America, the place he doesn’t want to go back to. That time, I knew then and there, that DBSK has inspired me, they taught me to never give up on my dream no matter how hard and tough the roads ahead are. How I look at DBSK changed… they’re not just idols who sings and performs for their fans, but are artists who are determined to become what they are, who takes singing not as a job, but as passion and who, inspires people not just by their songs, but their own personal stories and lives as well. It is only in DBSK… where members are willing to sing, even if there is one Cassiopeia left.

After searching endless topics about DBSK, I came across reading fanaccounts and significant events about them. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they are strong enough to endure all hardships and pain, and how they consider fans’ feelings first before their own. I salute DBSK. Yunho’s food poisoning, the accident, Jaejoong’s injury, how they are being overworked, everything… yet after all these things, it’s amazing how they consider fans first. I remember Jaejoong saying that he would rather have no fans at all than to see them wait for him in the rain, how he promised not to cry in front of Cassiopeia. It is in DBSK where I have heard such heartfelt words, it pierced through my heart how they are able to think of those things when they themselves, are in pain. Okay, I have to start holding back tears now. Oh, dammit, why does my Ipod have to shuffle at Insa right now? Not helping at all…

It’s like a day after I became a Cassie when I started reading their Wikipedia page. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they put even their heart at work, they compose their own songs. It amazes me how this group has members who contributes to their own music. And another amazing thing is, whatever their compositions are, it automatically gets in my favorites. Even Jaejoong’s 9095 is a favorite song. LOL, it may sound weird to most people, but I’m completely in love with it. I love Junsu’s lyrics to the song Picture of You and Changmin’s Love in the Ice. I loved Jaejoong’s Wasurenaide, too. In fact, it’s my song of the day. 🙂 Another thing amazing is all of them are talented in musical instruments. Do I still have to enumerate? LOL, it’s taking up time, it’s been over an hour since I started typing this and I’m not even planning to put an end in this thing.

After finding about their compositions, I have learned about their banjun dramas and individual films and TV series as well, may it be a cameo or being the main character. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they’re not just mere singers, dancers and composers, they’re actors. Yes, this is the truth. They are excellent actors. I have seen their banjun dramas, though most seems funny to me, I am amazed how they act really great. I have seen Dating on Earth too, Yoochun’s Rooftop Prince and a bit of Jaejoong’s Heaven’s Postman. I am planning to watch Yunho’s Heading to the Ground, Changmin’s Paradise Ranch, Jaejoong’s Protect the Boss, Yoochun’s SKK scandal, Junsu’s musicals and other Japanese films they’ve done. One thing’s holding me back actually, and that’s because they got leading ladies! Argh… I can put up with Jaejoong having one-sided love, but never gonna tolerate it when they got kiss scenes! Aish, I’m into a berserk mode, actually… Still, I’m in love with them because of that.

Days passed, I became more and more addicted to DBSK. And that’s how All About DBSK came to my attention. I first watched, AADBSK III. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of the powerful bond they have for one another. I remember Junsu saying they started as members, but now it’s not like that, they’re now brothers, family. Every pairing there is in this group is to ship for. I have seen so many videos of DBSK and I find it amusing how they are all comfortable with each other, hugging and crying with each other, bullying Junsu, teasing their crybaby Yoochun, how their evil maknae bullies everyone especially Jaejoong and how they would hit Yunho’s arm with their fingers with all their might. It’s so cute to see how in concerts, they would run and fool around, do funny dances together, imitating chunface, and even imitating each other’s laugh… Junsu’s, particularly.

Later that November, I learnt about JYJ having twitter accounts and how they are socially active in the internet. Even I am not, really not, a fan of twitter, I even promised myself not to make a twitter account since I don’t really understand it… I still made one just to follow JYJ. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can make me do things out of my shell. I remember trying to learn their oh-so-hard dance choreographies. I remember telling my mom that I really, really wanna go to Korea after I graduate just to see these guys. I remember making a blog just for them… the cassieforever. I swear, I really didn’t picture myself as a person who blogs things. But, it just came… and DBSK was the first one to come to my mind. I have even downloaded Sony Vegas Pro just because I wanted to do a video for them. Most of the time, I would lock myself in the room, just to do some freewriting, and it’s funny how it always ends up as an essay about DBSK. And right now, I requested my dad to buy an external drive for me because I am collecting DBSK videos. Just… really… From the day that I have seen and fell in love with Mirotic, I have never pictured myself doing these kinds of things. And I know that there’s actually more to come.

So, it’s been over two hours since I started this. There’s no internet connection actually, and I’m bored. 🙂 This is what happens. My sketchpad is almost full actually, full of essays, 90% DBSKified.

So, where I am now? Oh… it’s been how many months since I became a Cassie? It’s amazing how these Cassiopeias from all over the world share and send their love for me even when we’re oceans and countries apart. I feel so loved, I feel so blessed. Ever since I became a Cassie, I became matured. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because like a guidance counselor, they taught me the right thing and like a parent, they led me to the right way. When I was an f(x) fan, I would go on and fight verbally in youtube, with anti’s who compare them to other groups saying this or that group is better. When I was a SONE, I’m still the same, having Yoona as my bias isn’t easy; she got like, the most number of international anti-fans. It is in that stage where I became an aggressive person, who gets annoyed easily at hate comments and the type of person who would fight back. But the moment I became a Cassie, even if they say this or that group is better, I learned that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, to just keep silent when there are trolls in the video, to be the big person to apologize and say sorry, to make fun of trolls, thanking them for the views and added comments and to team up with other fandoms, supporting them raise the views of their own video too. It’s funny how I see myself acting as an adult, who rationalizes everything, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and not easily judging a person by a single mistake. It’s true… It’s all in DBSK how I learned these things. Cassiopeia taught me… DBSK taught us. ❤

After some time, I accidentally came across a video of theirs where they describe Cassiopeia. It totally made a mark in my heart as it’s the first time I have seen an idol group that made something like this. In Jaejoong’s words, Cassiopeia is like his eyelashes, because even if he plucks 4 eyelashes a day, it keeps on growing very rapidly. It never thins out. In Yoochun’s words, Cassiopeia is like his gaze, because the more you look at it, the more you are drawn into it. In Junsu’s words, Cassiopeia is a family. In Changmin’s words, Cassiopeia is DBSK, because Cassiopeia and DBSK are one. In Yunho’s words, Cassiopeia is Mah-Bah-Gi, because there are no other words necessary. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they love Cassiopeia, treating them as the group’s oxygen, enabling them to breathe. Amazing… I actually memorized their lines. Haha! Typical me…

Right now, we’re still in a daze… still waiting for DBSK to come back together again. But still, as a Cassiopeia, I never gave up on them, I support them whether two or three… or even one. I became exposed to JYJ’s song and so as TVXQ duo’s songs and interviews. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because even if they are separated, they still keep the faith on each other. With the release of TVXQ duo’s Still… I was reminded of my faith. BIG TIME. JYJ has always been the open one about how they miss their members and how they wanted to see them again and all… and with the release of TXVQ duo’s new song… it feels like all unexpressed feeling, and all words left unsaid are delivered in that song. I love it how even if they were not open and not that expressive about the issue as much as JYJ was, their eyes speak the truth.

Due to my curiosity, I’ve explored many sites just to get the truth about DBSK’s lawsuit and all issues connected to it. I even came to a time where I’m a step away to losing my faith, good thing there are Cassies who strengthened it for me, who held it for me, when I myself, couldn’t find the strength to have a grip on it. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because no matter how many negative things are thrown at them, how many mistakes they’ve done, how much they’ve hurt and made me cry, I just couldn’t let them go. It is magic… It is magic, what held us together is pure magic that even if they say JYJ betrayed Homin or the other way around, I just couldn’t let go of them. The sasaeng issues and Jaejoong’s countless swearing… I just couldn’t get him out of my heart. He’s still my bias. DBSK making me cry every single day… it isn’t new to me and sometimes I get really tired from it… but it’s frustrating how I still can’t get them out of my head. I hate it because I love DBSK way too much that even if I have found a thousand reasons to let them go, I couldn’t find myself actually doing so.

As another day passes, DBSK never fails to give me another reason to love them. Every single day, the word PERFECT is always unveiled in my eyes whenever I see them, the five of them. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK not only because they mark history in music industry but because they set records too… in my heart, like never before. They are always the first band to make me do this, does that, be like this, be like that… It’s always them. They became my standard markers and its unbelievable how they set the bar real high that I am always afraid I’d live forever alone. The trending hashtag in my lifetime. #foreveralone. My list of reasons why I fell in love with DBSK could go on forever… but it will always come down to one…

I fell in love with DBSK because… they are… DBSK. ❤ because they are DBSK, they are good in singing, because they are DBSK, they are good in dancing, because they are DBSK, they are inspiring, because they are DBSK, they can harmonize as one… because they are DBSK… DBSK… DBSK… I will never be a Cassiopeia… if it weren’t for DBSK…

It’s funny how I made it up to seven pages, yet my question still didn’t got an answer. What is the very specific reason that made you fell in love with DBSK?

In the first place, all my reasons stated above are the reasons I have found after I fell in love with DBSK. Now I know… the reason why I couldn’t find a reason to let them go… is… because I fell in love with DBSK for no reason to begin with… I have realized, that even after twenty years, my whole lifetime, that I would still be looking forward for that comeback stage even if the word impossible itself is right before my eyes, even if I get old, I would like to see them personally and say, I’ve been waiting for the five of you all this time… DBSK, TVXQ, Tohoshinki… whatever name they call you. I could never go on a day without you. I miss you and I’m looking forward to that precious day where all five of you would reunite.

DBSK is a part of my life now. It’s amazing how I am certain, that even if I became a grandmother, I would still proclaim Love in the Ice as my favorite song. I’ll probably still be crying when listening to Proud. I would still watch Mirotic every day. I would still say Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Yoochun and Changmin are my stars in the night sky. Even in my last breath, I would still say Always Keep the Faith.

I hate you DBSK… because I love you so much to even think about something else other than my faith and my love for you. I believe in the day that we can personally meet, and you know the first thing I would do? I would like to punch you guys and scold you for making me cry everyday… and then give you a warm hug after. ❤

Always Keep the Faith Cassiopeia, because when you live out the word faith, the word impossible becomes meaningless. 🙂

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, how was it?

I am really planning to add more… but I think it’s just way too long already~! xD

Haha! 😀


Even If 10 Years Pass…

*sniff*sniff* *wipes tears*

Hello guys!

I’ve been an Emoshinki last night… and here’s what I made..

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Even if 10 years pass… I still want my TVXQ

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to hear Jaejoong saying “He(Yunho) has me here.”

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Yoochun thanking Jaejoong wholeheartedly because he took care of him when he’s sick.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Jaejoong pushing Junsu’s wheelchair, constantly taking care of him everytime.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Changmin and Jaejoong slapping each other and constantly calling themselves SoulFighters.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Yunho kissing Chun in his cheeks and smiling shyly after.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Yunho being massaged by dolphin Susu in the back.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see our leader Yunho hugging and hushing our crying baby Changmin.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Yoochun teasing Junsu on his pronunciation on “See you next week.”

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see Yoochun and Minnie clinging on each other while counting one, two, three.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to hear Changminnie saying that he worships Xiah.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see our maknae being touched everywhere by his hyungs when they are singing Hug.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see TVXQ having a pillow fight.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see TVXQ dancing in animal costumes.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see TVXQ as five together on stage.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to hear those five voices together.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see and hear united Cassiopeia all over the world chanting your name.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see the five of you introduce themselves as Dong Bang Shin Ki.

Even if 10 years pass… I still want to see TVXQ… together, smiling, laughing…

When 10, 20 or even 30 years pass… Time would come when…

The name TVXQ might fade…

The five of you will have their own families…

And you won’t be making music together under the name of TVXQ anymore…

But even if 10 years pass… 20 years… or even 30…

I would still wish for these kind of things…

Because I know…

even when 10 years pass…

I will still be proud with all five of you…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of my Changminnie… who always makes witty remarks and a high-pitched scream

You taught me to be carefree and to show who I am despite what everyone says, no matter how many people wants you out…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of my dolphin Junsu… who has the best voice and even the best duck butt only him has

You taught me how to be a happy pill, and to be faithful and loyal to my friends…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of my Yoochun… who always makes every expression hilarious called ChunFace that only him can do

You taught me that it’s okay to cry when you’re overwhelmed, in pain, or too thankful and how to smile warmly after…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of my Yunho… who is always there for the group, as a stronghold, as its foundation

You taught me how to be selfless, to be concerned about the people around me and to be a source of strength for them when rough times come…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of my Jaejoong… whom no matter how hurt or painful it was for him, he always carries a thankful heart and refuses Cassies to see him cry

You taught me how to overcome all struggles in life just to reach the dream and even taught me to cherish everyone in my life because they will not be there forever…

Even if 10 years pass… I will still be proud of TVXQ…

Who made me appreciate the word “Love” more

Who have inspired me in life

Who taught me how to look for the soul of music

Who have shown me the best that they could ever be

Who have given me a family

And even, took my life into a whole new dimension

A whole new me

And even if 10 years pass… I will never forget all of these :”>


Even if 10 years pass…They will still be my definition of living legends, Gods of Kpop…

Even if 10 years pass… They will still be the perfect group in my eyes, looks, talent and personality-wise…

Even if 10 years pass…They will still be the group who made me inspired by each of their stories…

And even if 10 years pass…They will still be the only group who made me keep the faith…

Even if 10 years pass… 20 years.. or even 30

You will never be forgotten

Your legacy will remain

Even if 10 years pass…You will still be the Dong Bang Shin Ki we love…

And even if 10 years pass… we will still be the Cassiopeia you always knew…

No matter what they say,

No matter how many new groups will debut,

No matter how many other groups surpass the history that you made,

No matter how many groups will become better than you,

I will still be a proud Cassiopeia even after 10 years…

Because you are already perfect in my eyes…

And that no one can replace you in my heart.

I am meant to become what I am now,

I am meant to love all five of you,

And I am meant to belong in Cassiopeia. ❤

We may have been on a very difficult situation right now…

But I know…

That even after 10 years…







and Cassiopeia

will always love and will always be there for each other…

Even if the whole world turns their back against us…

Because with each other…

We’re still the happiest

We’re still the strongest

We’re still the BEST.

With these said, I will always carry a thankful heart while patiently waiting ‘til the five of you come back…

Even if 10 years pass… I will always keep the faith.

Even if 10 years pass… I will never forget how I became a Cassiopeia, how I feel whenever I see DBSK and the reason why I am still holding on.

Forever and Always

-iHEARTtvxq && iHEARTcassiopeia-

Cassiopeia’s Precious Day!


Because in this same day, 7 years ago… our one and only Shim Changmin, our Voldemin, became a loving parent to us… Giving us one of the most important thing to a person.

A name.


And here we are, bearing the most beautiful name we know, Cassiopeia.

In this name we took pride.
In this name we became one.
In this name our boys says thank you.
In this name our boys says I love you.

You are one of the most precious persons our boys have known.
Because in this name, we became a legend.
And in this same name, we will always stay together.


Despite being in a fandom that is known as the strongest, a fandom that is known as the largest, there so many hardships around that only us can bear, only us know and only us feel.
Many people are bashing us left and right… what hurts the most is when the one doing it bears the same name.
So what if they call you delusional? Tell them, “Hell yeah, there are a million delusionals all over the world. Wanna join?” with your pretty smiling face, as a cherry on top! ❤

There is saying, “You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

I beg to differ.

Why… even if it’s not funny, I keep on laughing at Junsu’s oyaji gags even if I’ve watched it a hundred times already?

Why… do I still laugh everytime I watch DBSK dancing that dance for the grandmothers during Over The Mountain?

Why… do I find it hilarious everytime I watch them fail on chopping logs?


Why… do I still laugh at Changmin banging his head on the gong?

726230959 (1)

Why… do I still laugh with the same Chunface again and again?

Why… do I laugh everytime?

I can laugh at any DBSK joke again and again and I don’t know why… but I’m sure there are a whole lot others having the same case as mine.
“But why do I keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

That’s right. Why?
Because I love them?
Because it hurts so much?
Because they’re not together?

or because I love them so much that it hurts to see them not together?

I’m telling you right now. It’s okay to cry. Release it all.
You can unleash the pure hearted Cassiopeia inside you right now.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who cries tears that have so much meaning.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who smiles at little things.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who laughs everytime their boys do.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia within you that loves without limits…

So, to you who is hurting.
To you who is laughing.
To you who is smiling.
To you who is crying.
and to you… who is waiting.

remember that I’m always here too.
Beside you hurting.
Beside you laughing.
Beside you smiling.
Beside you crying.
And beside you… waiting.

And if you feel that no one understands you… remember me. Remember the name you bear. Remember Cassiopeia.
Because it doesn’t matter which language you spoke…
We can understand every bit of what you feel right now. We’re the ones who understand you best.

Because we’re more than just a shining constellation in the Northern sky.
We are a part of each other. We’re always with you… inside your heart.

Lastly, I want you all to be happy. I want us to be happy… and accepting what happened is a part of it.
We’re not gonna let go and especially not gonna forget.
Because everything, every memory has became a part of who we are. Acceptance is what matters most.
Acceptance to me… is very hard. But I’m doing my best at it… and someday, I’m looking forward to seeing those old memories without getting all bitter about it.
So let’s cheer on our five boys along the way!


Dong Bang Shin Ki, TVXQ, JYJ, down to Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.

And to you… who is celebrating your very own birthday. Be proud… There is no one like us.
There is no one like us… Us who tries our hardest to understand and accept a situation we never really wanted to happen.
And that’s what makes us so precious.
Because out of so many…
We’re the ones who stayed.

Happy Birthday, fellow Cassie!

May we have another year filled with happiness as wide as Yoochun’s forehead, joy as big as Junsu’s butt, smiles as beautiful as Jaejoong’s, and love…
So much love that it can reciprocate Changmin’s love for his food.
And where’s leader-shi? Oh forget it. He’s still sleeping.

Happy Birthday once again, Cassiopeia~
7 years and still shining. Cheers!


Always keep the faith. A word with five precious letters guided by the love of God. 🙂

Dong Bang Shin Ki (196)

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It’ been a long time since I posted.

I missed you all~


9 Years of Loving TVXQ

This morning when I opened twitter, I saw cheesy lines being thrown everywhere by my T-list and then I wondered, what’s happening? And then I saw them trending…









Oh My God Sun!

How could I not prepare for this special day!?

I guess I’m really busy… I haven’t had time to prepare nor the time to join the trending. 😦

I guess I would just be participating in the last hashtag later on…

Last anniversary, I remember compiling their song lyrics and making it my message but for now, I’m going to make something quick and straight from the heart…

9 things I want TVXQ to know…

More specifically, 9 Things I want to say to TVXQ this anniversary…

There are so many things a Cassie like me wants to convey for their “more precious than gems” TVXQ so I’ll just go and start off by saying, “Fighting!”


I want TVXQ to know that every little thing they do… is MAGIC! XD LOL, just kidding. But, what I’m saying is… every little thing they do, every song they release is always appreciated. I may be disappointed at times… but I never disregard your hardwork.

Keep up the good work!

May it be the best song of the year, or even the worst song of the century! Just remember for sure, I’ll always be with you… Even if everyone has turned their backs on you, I will always be there beside you, looking over with a proud smile saying, “Fighting!”

Never give up… for I have never made plans on giving up on you, either.


With that said, I want you to know that you’re always the best for me.

It doesn’t matter whether you have hairstyles from the Tri-Angle days or if all of you have the crazy unique bowl cut Yoochun has during Mirotic or whether you color your hairs like weird ice creams, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you have your accent while speaking Korean or if you can’t speak straight English or you look like an idiot for singing songs you never understand, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you slipped on the stage, sang the wrong lyrics, dropped your mic on-stage, you cracked your voice while singing or even wearing off your shoes in the middle of a performance, it doesn’t matter.

As long as you’re TVXQ.

As long as you stay as Jung Yunho who can’t hide his Jeollado accent,

Kim Jaejoong who colors his hair like a cheese-flavored ice cream,

Park Yoochun who tries on any hairstyle, may it be curly long hair or that crazy half-bowl cut,

Kim Junsu who tries his hardest to speak English fully and clearly and;

Shim Changmin who once slept on the stage.


I don’t want you to change… because the next thing I want you to know… just like what Bruno Mars say…I love you just the way you are.

That’s what makes you special.

Cassies loves you together with all your flaws and weaknesses, together with all the shortcomings and hindrances, together with all the mistakes you’ve done because in our eyes you are something special…


And if we can wish for another lifetime, we would still wish to be your Cassiopeia. A Cassiopeia who understands. A Cassiopeia who cares. A Cassiopeia with an open heart to love every little thing about you…


Because you know what?

TVXQ… you’re every little bit of Cassiopeia. :”>

And if you would ask me… I want you to know that I would never choose to fall in love with you any other way.

The fact that I’ve ignored you for years before falling head over heels in love with you… the fact that I became a Cassie after the lawsuit… the fact that I belonged to other fandoms first before coming in here… I realized that I don’t regret any of it…

All the tears

All the laughter

All the memories

All the heartaches

Because that’s what makes me what I am right now.

It may seem like liking you makes me an oldschool teenager in the eyes of another… but I have never once regret the fact that I loved a band that for other people, seemed to exist centuries ago.

DBSK hug 1

And with that I want you to know that I also don’t want my dear TVXQ to regret anything they’ve done and decided so far.

It’s what makes you now.

You may have chosen the wrong path or made wrong decisions in your life and in your career but I want you to know that I, as a Cassiopeia, accepts everything of it and I don’t want you to sulk in your room and regret any of it.

Jaejoong unable to do the Rising Sun promotions because of his leg… No, Jae, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yunho says sorry because of the hiatus… No, Yunho, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yoochun crying because he was sorry for leaving his brother behind… We all know the reason why you have to. I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Junsu crying while singing W. I knew exactly the reason why, Junsu. Don’t regret it. It’s okay.

Changmin ate all the food in the fridge.





But yeah… I don’t you to regret it. It’s okay.

I know your relationship with food. It’s a part of being “you.”

We’re clear, right? 😀 I don’t want you to lose your time and sanity trying to regret and sulk about a mistake, okay? It’s how we learn, it’s how people grow up. Plus, we only live once. And who knows? Maybe if you’ve done a different thing in the past, I wouldn’t have met you. That would be so frustrating, I guess. So, I’m thankful and you should too! Arasso? 😀

Now the fourth thing I want you to know… It may be a clichéd line already but…

You… TVXQ… I know you already know this but I want to say it to you again.

You have changed my life.

No wonder I’m weird. XD LOL, just kidding.

But… seriously, I could not ask for more… I want to continue like this, you being my TVXQ, me being your Cassiopeia, we… changing lives of one another. An exact piece of puzzle to one another…

To the extent that you can say…

TVXQ would never be here without Cassiopeia. ❤

And to the extent that I can say…

I would never be the same without TVXQ. :”>

With all these overflowing emotions… I want you to know that I’m very thankful.

Two words that could suffice for everything you’ve done for me, two words that contains all my heart, two words that needs no more explanation after being said…

TVXQ… I know… that you would know the exact reason why I would say…

Thank you


 Thank you… these two words that you throw everywhere when you had the chance. I would like to get the chance to say these to you back personally. If God would give me a minute with TVXQ… I could never say anything else…


Thank you, Yunho. The mighty selfless leader.


Thank you, Jaejoong. The emotional inspirator.


Thank you, Yoochun. The thoughtful crybaby.


Thank you, Junsu. The happy pill.


Thank you, Changmin. No other words needed. One and only Voldemin.


Thank you TVXQ. The red ocean cheers for you.

In what seemed like forever… Cassiopeia loving TVXQ for nine years. I want TVXQ to know that I haven’t forgotten about them. I remember seeing a clip of Jaejoong crying because they went to Japan for a long time, unable to meet Korean Cassies and Yunho worrying because a kid told him he doesn’t know TVXQ.

You don’t have to worry a lot because ever since I became a Cassiopeia, I have never forgotten a TVXQ that inspired me this much. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ who makes me laugh in my saddest moment. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ whose melodies can make my heart beat faster. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ to whom I am always thankful for. I have never forgotten a TVXQ that gave me a family called Cassiopeia.


Because I know that everywhere you go, you have never forgotten that there’s a Cassiopeia ready to go and back you up when the world seems like tearing apart.

By saying this… it reminds me of that first performance on this same day, 2003. Oh, the cute old times. Now, do you wanna ask me what’s the last thing I want TVXQ to know?

Oh, yeah… I want TVXQ to know that I have that video saved in my laptop! XD


No, no, no Junsu… you can’t deny the fact that you ALMOST made a mistake before that dance break. I have the evidence with me… and that cute hairflip by Changmin. Hey you! Don’t tell me you’re sexy and hot… I know your everytime-I-sing-I-smile past. XD Aaaah, it makes me wanna go and reminisce…

That beautiful little snow falling…

That heartwarming melody…

Those five cute boys dressed in black…

That signature left and right body swinging.

Those cute hand gestures and countless finger pointing everytime you sing…

And how Jaejoong stared at the camera with those little eyes!

Haha! You guys are so cute! :”>


Yeah, I can never forget that… Now look at me talking like an old lady. XD It’s been nine years since then.

I wish you guys to grow and learn more! God is always with you every step of the way. ❤

Happy 9th anniversary, Dong Bang Shin Ki!

Singing is one thing… inspiring hearts is another… Indeed, the Lord dropped a glimpse of heaven in the form of you… TVXQ. ❤


PS. This is especially for Changmin.

I want you to know that I have my own life, okay!? I manage it and it’s my call when I want to spend most of my time for TVXQ. Look at you, telling me to get a life. WHY DON’T YOU GET OVER IT? Say it again. DO YOU WANNA DIE? Huh. And how would I get a boyfriend when you and your hyungs are messing up my standards? Oh, how on Earth!?

Another PS. Hey TVXQ and JYJ!

Why do you keep on releasing stuffs simultaneously? Sometimes even at the same month! DO YOU WANT US TO DIE OF HUNGER? Really? How about fusing it together and just make it one? 😀 Maybe even sharing the same concert stage would do, too. You know. 😉

Aish! Anyhow, Happy 9th anniversary! 9 years!


TVXQ loving Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia loving TVXQ.

To each other, they’re the blooming flowers of spring, the bright shining sun during summer, the falling leaves during autumn and the piling snow every winter.

One that completes another.

Five positions that never change.

A bond that stays together.

A melody we would never exchange.

May we have another glorious year!


‘Til forever. ❤


Happy 1 Year To Me!

I’m now a year-old bouncing baby Cassie. 🙂

Isn’t it nice? I may have a very busy schedule, I still have tons of things lined-up for me to do but THERE’S NO WAY that I’ll skip celebrating this precious happening in my life. ❤

Somehow, when I entered this fandom, I felt like a different person, like… I was born again. This may be childish to say and most probably, other persons around me wouldn’t understand, but I felt like Cassiopeia and most especially DBSK became my parents, my siblings.

Isn’t it heartwarming that I got five additional fathers who, even though doesn’t know me personally, still continues to inspire and make me a better person without themselves knowing… and thousands, no, a million Cassiopeia as my siblings who’re ready to stand up for me?

I may treat, care, worry and love DBSK as my sons… but in return, I have realized, they’ve been my fathers ever since I met them… teaching me countless lessons as each day passes, as each of them struggles to overcome their own obstacles, as each of them continue to face the future head-on.

Together with my so-called Daddys, I learned.

DBSK made me appreciative and thankful even for the small things, trust me. They made me think out of the box, and they are the ones who taught me how to freely express myself in words, though most of the time, words aren’t enough to say how wonderful I feel about being a Cassie.

DBSK made me see the beauty of friendship in a much deeper dimension. I am a solitary nature by person but ever since I became a Cassie, I became very active and even made friends not just on the Internet but personally, as well. I’ve met some Cassies who’re studying in the same university as mine and believe me, we felt like we’re long lost sisters!! :”) They now became my personal friends whom I talk to everyday, even if it’s about our everyday lives and problems.

There are so much more but this one’s my favorite… DBSK has given me motivation to move forward, courage to step up out of the crowd and the strength to face and endure hardships as I step closer to my dream. I’m a Med student and everyday the road keeps on getting rougher. And everytime I would felt like giving up, I ALWAYS remember Jaejoong. He constantly tells himself, “I need to become a singer.” As I imagine him, a tone-deaf person trying to make his way to become a known singer is something so moving. :”) Therefore I always tell myself, “I still need to become a doctor.”

Moreover, aside from all these things, DBSK sees to it that I also learn the hard part. I’m brave enough to say… that I have experienced the ups-and-down of being in this fandom, maybe not as much as those who’ve been a Cassie longer than me. I am never a spoiled child and that’s how DBSK makes a difference compared to other groups towards their own fandom.

DBSK were never “always” at the top, they have their own downfalls too and DBSK makes it sure that in every downfall, they are together with us. When the time comes for them to use all their mighty strength to get up, DBSK makes it sure that Cassiopeia stands up with them. I was taught about the importance of victory and most especially, the feeling of being sunken deep so that I will never make fun of other people who stumbled too.

They showed me… that life is never a bed full of roses, even for someone who is so famous like them.

DBSK is so much more than the pretty faces and beautiful voices. They shared to me every bit of them, even their souls and passion. It amazes me… that whenever they have the chance, they remind me of how much they love me and how grateful they are to have me. That it makes me question myself: “Do I have the guts to leave these boys’ side?”

In just a year… I can say that this is one of the best experiences I’ve had of being a Kpop fan and I sure am… that I will never dare to leave. They’ve taught me so many values, much more than what elementary school had taught me. DBSK has given me friends, has given me inspiration and courage to move forward.

Thank you DBSK… Thank you Yunho. Thank you Jaejoong. Thank you Yoochun. Thank you Junsu. Thank you Changmin and thank you my dear Cassiopeia. I’m grateful to have you guys in my life… :”)

I will continue on with this new life God has blessed upon me. I will cherish and continue to live on, not as a Kpop addict… because I was never one… but as a Cassiopeia who will continue chasing her dream as much as DBSK did. A Cassiopeia who will grow together with her boys… together with DBSK.

At first I thought I was the one protecting the fandom, that I was the one who need to hold on tighter to keep the faith stronger. It turned out that I’m wrong. They are the ones protecting me, they are the ones educating me and they are the ones who’re holding me tighter, making my faith stronger… because even if I have found many reasons to let go, I still find myself lost in their eyes.

I may not post often in this blog anymore. I’m quite busy… but don’t worry, in my heart, I will always be like this, one of the most emoshinki persons you must’ve known, a child who is sincerely loved by TVXQ and her fellow Cassies. :”)




(Okay, the celebration is over, back to my Physics book. LOL)


Anyways, I love you Cassies! You can forget my name and even my blog but ALWAYS REMEMBER that we’re very lucky that we’re blessed with such heavenly guys. ❤

That thought alone… is more than enough for us to be thankful for having TVXQ in our lives. :”)


Let’s Make Our Boys Proud…

Have you voted on MAMA yet??

Sadly, in every category our dear TVXQ is in, they are always lagging behind.

I know we CAN make this turn around…

Let’s make our boys proud! 😀

Everyday, let’s continue to vote for them and promote them, remind everyone to vote.

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

Let’s get our boys on top…

We are their pride and so… we must prove it.

Now, I don’t want to hear these phrases: “Why vote? We all know TVXQ is the best…”

“we all know TVXQ is the winner..”

blah blah blah

Yes! We all know.

But does other people know?

Maybe not.

So Yes! We WILL let them know.

We will let them know who the Gods of Kpop are…

We will let them know that Cassiopeia still has it’s glory…

We will let them know…

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

I’m calling you all,

let’s vote together!

Let’s win together! 😀

Make Yunho and Changmin proud…

Vote for them here:

and as a congratulatory act, watch this…

Don’t lose hope.





Oh My God Sun :)

Cassies~! Have you seen Junsu’s recent tweet already??

I bet you already did. 😀

(In fact, I may be the one who’s late. XD)


I don’t know but… after I saw this tweet…

It felt like it’s the sweetest thing on Earth right now. :”)

So sweet that it makes me wanna cry, stop amidst doing all my term papers, screencap it and make a special post just for this…


We love you Junsu! 🙂

One of the best things about you…

You never change. ❤

I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…


I fell in love with a guy I could never have.

We’re countries apart.

Our age gap is nine years. He’s even older than my sister.

We don’t even speak the same language.

And around millions of people in the world, it’s only a percent of probability that we could ever meet, without even talking.

He’s a guy who is successful in his own career…

a guy who knows how to cook…

a guy who doesn’t leave people behind…

a guy who knows the feeling of rejection…

a guy who is frank enough to say what he feels…

a guy who smiles and make everyone laugh, even deep inside, he’s hurting…

He is a guy who values people in his life.

Without even meeting him personally, without even having a single idea about his family background, without even knowing how intelligent he is, without even knowing what his eye color is, without even knowing his date of birth, without even knowing his type of girls, without even knowing his likes and dislikes, without even knowing how he thinks, and what his principles in life are, I fell in love with him.

I don’t know his family background, but I fell in love with him because I know that he loves them so much.

I don’t know how intelligent he is, but I fell in love with him because I know that whatever he does, he thinks about it carefully.

I don’t know what his eye color is, but I fell in love with him because I know that his eyes always speak what his heart really feels.

I don’t know his date of birth, but I fell in love with him because I know that he is God’s gift for everyone who knows him.

I don’t know his type of girls, but I fell in love with him because I know that he takes love as a serious thing and never sees it as something to be played at.

I don’t know his likes and dislikes, but I fell in love with him because I know that he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t and that he is proud of his own preferences.

I don’t know how he thinks and what his principles in life are, but I fell in love with him because I know that he thinks only for the common good, as he is a person molded by rejection and poverty.

We haven’t even met personally, but I fell in love with him because I felt something in him which I couldn’t explain.

In a single moment, my eyes see only him…

my mind could only think of him…

my mouth only speaks of him…

and my heart got stolen by him.

His face is something I could never pass a day without looking at.

His voice is something I could never forget how it sounded.

His laugh is the most remarkable one I have heard in my life.

His name is something my mind always remembers even if I am the busiest person on Earth.

He has become someone I could never live without.

He is a guy from the TV screen. Every time I would see him, it’s like I don’t want the time to end.

Every time I would hear his voice, it’s like the sound of angels, which could make me smile even in my darkest moment.

Every time I would see him with another girl, it feels like my whole world would shatter.

Every time I would see him kiss another girl, even if it’s because of his job, I could never tolerate that. I feel so furious, like he is my own. I feel cheated, like he knew about me.

I feel sad, disappointed, and heart-wrenched every time I would remember, that he is a guy whom I can only see on TV screen, a guy who doesn’t even have a single idea that I existed, a guy whom, even in my dreams, is still the farthest person to reach.

It feels so hard how I imagine the day would come when he falls in love with a girl, too. He has become my everything, my love. They say if you love someone, you have to set them free, and I guess, I am never exempted in that rule. As I am just a girl from the shadows, a girl in the crowd, a girl who is hiding behind the clouds, to which he would never hardly notice and take time to be with.

It’s so painful to realize the truth yet every time I see him, my heart spells the phrase I love you.

Every time I would see him smile, I am reminded that God has a reason why he showed me that man.

I am so happy and grateful because I fell in love with him.

My days have gotten so much brighter because I fell in love with him.

I cry endless tears and sadness because I fell in love with him.

Truly, I fell in love with a guy whom I could never live without yet the guy that I could never, ever have.

I fell in love with Kim Jaejoong ❤

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, so I really feel silly after writing this one. They say that the hardest thing in being a fangirl is to fall in love with her bias and I must say that it really isssssssssss. T.T

I’m lacking sleep, I don’t feel so good yet I’m here, with a realization that after being a Cassie for 10 months, I actually fell in love with my bias ❤

Like really! I wanted to scratch myself because of this oneeeee. -____- Honestly…

Recently, Jae released a photo of him kissing his baby niece in a the cheek right? Did you know that I was slightly jealous with that one?? For real! OMGSun, I may just tear myself apart. I’m totally arguing with myself right now. -.-

Please don’t bash me like I’m a complete idiot for falling in love with her bias, okay? Because I already know! XD


I just hope the best for the whole DBSK not between me and that guy above! I just might send him a hate letter… Oohhh, that sounds good. LOL, If ever I get on my mood, I’ll make a letter expressing how much I hate-love him. ❤

Goodnight guys! I need to catch up with sleep…





The Place Where You Belong

This is actually not DBSK-related but I wanted to share to you this essay I’ve written last semester. I was actually really bored and I wanted to write so I tuned on some DBSK ballads and here you go! 🙂

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wanted to write. Write a story, a fanfiction, a poem… whatever it is… I just wanted to write on a paper yet I don’t know what to write . I don’t know if this makes sense or not but there is that inner urge that makes me want to write.

As confusing as it seems, that’s just how life is. There are things you want to do yet you don’t know how. There are thing you wanted to achieve but you don’t know if you can and there are things you want to experience yet you don’t know if you ever will. Yet we… continue to keep wanting, continue in believing and continue in dreaming.

And that is FAITH…

Someone said, “faith is taking the first step even though you cannot see the whole staircase.”

In life, there are moments that ends even though you don’t want it to and there are ones which you never wished to happen but… still happens. Because in life, we couldn’t get everything we want… just the ones we need and more often, it is more than enough.

It is indeed, a ride… A roller coaster ride… even though you don’t like the loops, they are still bound to come. Just like how problems in life continue to come… They make you strong, they make you learn things and teach you how to continue believing even if the smallest possibility left is gone.

But because of faith, all doors are open leading to infinite chances of possibilities because faith makes the word impossible meaningless.

I have encountered people who wanted to take their own life just to get rid of the problems, because they think life is too hard for them or because they think that they’re born in the wrong family. In life, things like this really happen… but they are NEVER the reason to end yourself.

I believe, everything is perfect the way it is… everything has a purpose, nothing is coincidence. The fact that I’m here writing this is planned by God. 🙂 I know that things like this are given by God because He knows that we can go through this… because He believes in us… And in return, to pass through it… we must believe in Him too. ❤

Why end yourself? Why end your journey? Someone said, if you keep looking at the past, you can’t see the beauty of what lies ahead. Every individual has its own destined place and role on Earth. Each of us has a definite purpose. Why are we here? We may not know for now… but in time we WILL. ❤ Maybe you’re going to be the inventor of the flying car, the next country’s president or even the richest person on Earth! 🙂 Just one thing’s for sure… we’re here to serve and praise God… to let Him use us as instruments to reach out to unfortunate people, to become the biggest blessing each of us can possibly be.

If you can’t find happiness because you don’t know what you want to do, because you don’t know if you can achieve what you want to achieve, because you don’t know if you will experience what you want to experience, just close your eyes… Hear the soft brushing of the leaves, the birds’ chirping and the sweet humming of the wind. Feel the warmth of the sun against your skin and smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers. Feel the peace and serenity, the calmness of everything. And deep within you… happiness will unveil. Because you know that everything you felt, heard and smelled are made just for you.

Made by God, JUST FOR YOU.

Because you may not know… but you are God’s masterpiece, His most favorite creation. 🙂

All the things that you dislike… confusion, frustration, depression and disappointments are nothing compared to His unconditional love for you, for all the gifts that He gave, gives and will give you…

Nothing compared to LIFE. ❤

So don’t end your life, this is exactly the place where you belong.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now Paying: Love In The Ice Classical Version :”)