Tag Archive | TohoShinKi

Cassiopeia’s Precious Day!

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Because in this same day, 7 years ago… our one and only Shim Changmin, our Voldemin, became a loving parent to us… Giving us one of the most important thing to a person.

A name.

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And here we are, bearing the most beautiful name we know, Cassiopeia.

In this name we took pride.
In this name we became one.
In this name our boys says thank you.
In this name our boys says I love you.

You are one of the most precious persons our boys have known.
Because in this name, we became a legend.
And in this same name, we will always stay together.

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Despite being in a fandom that is known as the strongest, a fandom that is known as the largest, there so many hardships around that only us can bear, only us know and only us feel.
Many people are bashing us left and right… what hurts the most is when the one doing it bears the same name.
So what if they call you delusional? Tell them, “Hell yeah, there are a million delusionals all over the world. Wanna join?” with your pretty smiling face, as a cherry on top! ❤

There is saying, “You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

I beg to differ.

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Why… even if it’s not funny, I keep on laughing at Junsu’s oyaji gags even if I’ve watched it a hundred times already?

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Why… do I still laugh everytime I watch DBSK dancing that dance for the grandmothers during Over The Mountain?

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Why… do I find it hilarious everytime I watch them fail on chopping logs?

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Why… do I still laugh at Changmin banging his head on the gong?

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Why… do I still laugh with the same Chunface again and again?

Why… do I laugh everytime?

I can laugh at any DBSK joke again and again and I don’t know why… but I’m sure there are a whole lot others having the same case as mine.
“But why do I keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

That’s right. Why?
Because I love them?
Because it hurts so much?
Because they’re not together?

or because I love them so much that it hurts to see them not together?

I’m telling you right now. It’s okay to cry. Release it all.
You can unleash the pure hearted Cassiopeia inside you right now.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who cries tears that have so much meaning.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who smiles at little things.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who laughs everytime their boys do.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia within you that loves without limits…

So, to you who is hurting.
To you who is laughing.
To you who is smiling.
To you who is crying.
and to you… who is waiting.

remember that I’m always here too.
Beside you hurting.
Beside you laughing.
Beside you smiling.
Beside you crying.
And beside you… waiting.

And if you feel that no one understands you… remember me. Remember the name you bear. Remember Cassiopeia.
Because it doesn’t matter which language you spoke…
We can understand every bit of what you feel right now. We’re the ones who understand you best.

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Because we’re more than just a shining constellation in the Northern sky.
We are a part of each other. We’re always with you… inside your heart.

Lastly, I want you all to be happy. I want us to be happy… and accepting what happened is a part of it.
We’re not gonna let go and especially not gonna forget.
Because everything, every memory has became a part of who we are. Acceptance is what matters most.
Acceptance to me… is very hard. But I’m doing my best at it… and someday, I’m looking forward to seeing those old memories without getting all bitter about it.
So let’s cheer on our five boys along the way!

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Dong Bang Shin Ki, TVXQ, JYJ, down to Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.

And to you… who is celebrating your very own birthday. Be proud… There is no one like us.
There is no one like us… Us who tries our hardest to understand and accept a situation we never really wanted to happen.
And that’s what makes us so precious.
Because out of so many…
We’re the ones who stayed.

Happy Birthday, fellow Cassie!

May we have another year filled with happiness as wide as Yoochun’s forehead, joy as big as Junsu’s butt, smiles as beautiful as Jaejoong’s, and love…
So much love that it can reciprocate Changmin’s love for his food.
And where’s leader-shi? Oh forget it. He’s still sleeping.

Happy Birthday once again, Cassiopeia~
7 years and still shining. Cheers!

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Always keep the faith. A word with five precious letters guided by the love of God. 🙂

Dong Bang Shin Ki (196)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’ been a long time since I posted.

I missed you all~

:”>

9 Years of Loving TVXQ

This morning when I opened twitter, I saw cheesy lines being thrown everywhere by my T-list and then I wondered, what’s happening? And then I saw them trending…

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Dun

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Dun

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DUN

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DUN!

Oh My God Sun!

How could I not prepare for this special day!?

I guess I’m really busy… I haven’t had time to prepare nor the time to join the trending. 😦

I guess I would just be participating in the last hashtag later on…

Last anniversary, I remember compiling their song lyrics and making it my message but for now, I’m going to make something quick and straight from the heart…

9 things I want TVXQ to know…

More specifically, 9 Things I want to say to TVXQ this anniversary…

There are so many things a Cassie like me wants to convey for their “more precious than gems” TVXQ so I’ll just go and start off by saying, “Fighting!”

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I want TVXQ to know that every little thing they do… is MAGIC! XD LOL, just kidding. But, what I’m saying is… every little thing they do, every song they release is always appreciated. I may be disappointed at times… but I never disregard your hardwork.

Keep up the good work!

May it be the best song of the year, or even the worst song of the century! Just remember for sure, I’ll always be with you… Even if everyone has turned their backs on you, I will always be there beside you, looking over with a proud smile saying, “Fighting!”

Never give up… for I have never made plans on giving up on you, either.

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With that said, I want you to know that you’re always the best for me.

It doesn’t matter whether you have hairstyles from the Tri-Angle days or if all of you have the crazy unique bowl cut Yoochun has during Mirotic or whether you color your hairs like weird ice creams, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you have your accent while speaking Korean or if you can’t speak straight English or you look like an idiot for singing songs you never understand, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you slipped on the stage, sang the wrong lyrics, dropped your mic on-stage, you cracked your voice while singing or even wearing off your shoes in the middle of a performance, it doesn’t matter.

As long as you’re TVXQ.

As long as you stay as Jung Yunho who can’t hide his Jeollado accent,

Kim Jaejoong who colors his hair like a cheese-flavored ice cream,

Park Yoochun who tries on any hairstyle, may it be curly long hair or that crazy half-bowl cut,

Kim Junsu who tries his hardest to speak English fully and clearly and;

Shim Changmin who once slept on the stage.

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I don’t want you to change… because the next thing I want you to know… just like what Bruno Mars say…I love you just the way you are.

That’s what makes you special.

Cassies loves you together with all your flaws and weaknesses, together with all the shortcomings and hindrances, together with all the mistakes you’ve done because in our eyes you are something special…

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And if we can wish for another lifetime, we would still wish to be your Cassiopeia. A Cassiopeia who understands. A Cassiopeia who cares. A Cassiopeia with an open heart to love every little thing about you…

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Because you know what?

TVXQ… you’re every little bit of Cassiopeia. :”>

And if you would ask me… I want you to know that I would never choose to fall in love with you any other way.

The fact that I’ve ignored you for years before falling head over heels in love with you… the fact that I became a Cassie after the lawsuit… the fact that I belonged to other fandoms first before coming in here… I realized that I don’t regret any of it…

All the tears

All the laughter

All the memories

All the heartaches

Because that’s what makes me what I am right now.

It may seem like liking you makes me an oldschool teenager in the eyes of another… but I have never once regret the fact that I loved a band that for other people, seemed to exist centuries ago.

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And with that I want you to know that I also don’t want my dear TVXQ to regret anything they’ve done and decided so far.

It’s what makes you now.

You may have chosen the wrong path or made wrong decisions in your life and in your career but I want you to know that I, as a Cassiopeia, accepts everything of it and I don’t want you to sulk in your room and regret any of it.

Jaejoong unable to do the Rising Sun promotions because of his leg… No, Jae, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yunho says sorry because of the hiatus… No, Yunho, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yoochun crying because he was sorry for leaving his brother behind… We all know the reason why you have to. I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Junsu crying while singing W. I knew exactly the reason why, Junsu. Don’t regret it. It’s okay.

Changmin ate all the food in the fridge.

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.

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YOU SNEAKY YOUNG MAN! WHY DID YOU EAT IT ALL? WHAT ABOUT YOUR HYUNGS, DO YOU WANT THEM TO DIE OF HUNGER HUH!? JUST HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE IT THROUGHOUT ALL THESE NINE YEARS?

But yeah… I don’t you to regret it. It’s okay.

I know your relationship with food. It’s a part of being “you.”

We’re clear, right? 😀 I don’t want you to lose your time and sanity trying to regret and sulk about a mistake, okay? It’s how we learn, it’s how people grow up. Plus, we only live once. And who knows? Maybe if you’ve done a different thing in the past, I wouldn’t have met you. That would be so frustrating, I guess. So, I’m thankful and you should too! Arasso? 😀

Now the fourth thing I want you to know… It may be a clichéd line already but…

You… TVXQ… I know you already know this but I want to say it to you again.

You have changed my life.

No wonder I’m weird. XD LOL, just kidding.

But… seriously, I could not ask for more… I want to continue like this, you being my TVXQ, me being your Cassiopeia, we… changing lives of one another. An exact piece of puzzle to one another…

To the extent that you can say…

TVXQ would never be here without Cassiopeia. ❤

And to the extent that I can say…

I would never be the same without TVXQ. :”>

With all these overflowing emotions… I want you to know that I’m very thankful.

Two words that could suffice for everything you’ve done for me, two words that contains all my heart, two words that needs no more explanation after being said…

TVXQ… I know… that you would know the exact reason why I would say…

Thank you

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 Thank you… these two words that you throw everywhere when you had the chance. I would like to get the chance to say these to you back personally. If God would give me a minute with TVXQ… I could never say anything else…

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Thank you, Yunho. The mighty selfless leader.

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Thank you, Jaejoong. The emotional inspirator.

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Thank you, Yoochun. The thoughtful crybaby.

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Thank you, Junsu. The happy pill.

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Thank you, Changmin. No other words needed. One and only Voldemin.

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Thank you TVXQ. The red ocean cheers for you.

In what seemed like forever… Cassiopeia loving TVXQ for nine years. I want TVXQ to know that I haven’t forgotten about them. I remember seeing a clip of Jaejoong crying because they went to Japan for a long time, unable to meet Korean Cassies and Yunho worrying because a kid told him he doesn’t know TVXQ.

You don’t have to worry a lot because ever since I became a Cassiopeia, I have never forgotten a TVXQ that inspired me this much. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ who makes me laugh in my saddest moment. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ whose melodies can make my heart beat faster. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ to whom I am always thankful for. I have never forgotten a TVXQ that gave me a family called Cassiopeia.

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Because I know that everywhere you go, you have never forgotten that there’s a Cassiopeia ready to go and back you up when the world seems like tearing apart.

By saying this… it reminds me of that first performance on this same day, 2003. Oh, the cute old times. Now, do you wanna ask me what’s the last thing I want TVXQ to know?

Oh, yeah… I want TVXQ to know that I have that video saved in my laptop! XD

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No, no, no Junsu… you can’t deny the fact that you ALMOST made a mistake before that dance break. I have the evidence with me… and that cute hairflip by Changmin. Hey you! Don’t tell me you’re sexy and hot… I know your everytime-I-sing-I-smile past. XD Aaaah, it makes me wanna go and reminisce…

That beautiful little snow falling…

That heartwarming melody…

Those five cute boys dressed in black…

That signature left and right body swinging.

Those cute hand gestures and countless finger pointing everytime you sing…

And how Jaejoong stared at the camera with those little eyes!

Haha! You guys are so cute! :”>

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Yeah, I can never forget that… Now look at me talking like an old lady. XD It’s been nine years since then.

I wish you guys to grow and learn more! God is always with you every step of the way. ❤

Happy 9th anniversary, Dong Bang Shin Ki!

Singing is one thing… inspiring hearts is another… Indeed, the Lord dropped a glimpse of heaven in the form of you… TVXQ. ❤

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PS. This is especially for Changmin.

I want you to know that I have my own life, okay!? I manage it and it’s my call when I want to spend most of my time for TVXQ. Look at you, telling me to get a life. WHY DON’T YOU GET OVER IT? Say it again. DO YOU WANNA DIE? Huh. And how would I get a boyfriend when you and your hyungs are messing up my standards? Oh, how on Earth!?

Another PS. Hey TVXQ and JYJ!

Why do you keep on releasing stuffs simultaneously? Sometimes even at the same month! DO YOU WANT US TO DIE OF HUNGER? Really? How about fusing it together and just make it one? 😀 Maybe even sharing the same concert stage would do, too. You know. 😉

Aish! Anyhow, Happy 9th anniversary! 9 years!

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TVXQ loving Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia loving TVXQ.

To each other, they’re the blooming flowers of spring, the bright shining sun during summer, the falling leaves during autumn and the piling snow every winter.

One that completes another.

Five positions that never change.

A bond that stays together.

A melody we would never exchange.

May we have another glorious year!

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‘Til forever. ❤

Saranghae~

Please Tell Me… When?

I don’t know why…

but suddenly, I felt exceptionally sad after hearing The Boy’s Letter in my playlist that it actually made me cry… :”(

It made me stop, look back and think…

What is going on Cassiopeia right now?

How is TVXQ doing?

and stuffs like that.

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Yunho and Changmin are doing so well with their song, Catch Me and the recent one, Humanoids…

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JYJ are preparing for their album, each are having solo activities and are also doing great too…

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Cassiopeia, smiling brightly, as each day passes…

Seasons changing so fast…

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9th anniversary is approaching soon.

But why do I feel like I’m still stuck on the same ground? 😦

I told myself for countless times, “I have moved on. I will not cry anymore. I will be happy and smile for the both of them.”

But… why… in the midst of doing my scientific paper… did I cry by hearing JYJ’s song “The Boy’s Letter?”

I’ve been a year-old Cassie already… but why is it that I’m still like this?

Ahhh, I thought I’ve become mature with this thing but I realized…

I still haven’t changed a bit.

I’m still that childish Cassie who can’t totally accept the reality she is in.

I’m still that crybaby Cassie who still wishes the same things.

Yeah, I admit… I’m still not used to it. 😦

I’m not used to thinking TVXQ has split up. 

Whenever I’m reminded about the disbandment, my heart just…

B R E A K S </3

I admit… I want a comeback so badly…

I want TVXQ to make a comeback and show who they are to those new Kpop fans who bash them…

I want TVXQ to make a comeback and stand before Cassiopeia once more…

I want TVXQ to come back… because I felt like the existence of TVXQ having 5 members is slowly fading…

Honestly… I think a time will come, where DB5K will only be alive in the memories of a Cassie and the members itself.

Nothing more…

Nothing less…

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Christmas is nearing… if only Santa would grant my wish

 I want to see TVXQ together… so bad… even just once more atleast.

It’s been a while since I last shed tears just because I miss DBSK…

and suddenly, all of the pain and longing is flooding back.

Every bit of it.

and it hurts to say this but I admit…

No matter how many times I begged even for the friendship to remain, at least… I still find myself wanting this wish to really happen…

And it’s killing me to know that right now,

It’s the next thing to impossible.

So, tell me… when?

Because I know… no matter how long… I won’t be used to it… 

T___________T

Oh My God Sun :)

Cassies~! Have you seen Junsu’s recent tweet already??

I bet you already did. 😀

(In fact, I may be the one who’s late. XD)

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I don’t know but… after I saw this tweet…

It felt like it’s the sweetest thing on Earth right now. :”)

So sweet that it makes me wanna cry, stop amidst doing all my term papers, screencap it and make a special post just for this…

*sigh*

We love you Junsu! 🙂

One of the best things about you…

You never change. ❤

I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…

 

I fell in love with a guy I could never have.

We’re countries apart.

Our age gap is nine years. He’s even older than my sister.

We don’t even speak the same language.

And around millions of people in the world, it’s only a percent of probability that we could ever meet, without even talking.

He’s a guy who is successful in his own career…

a guy who knows how to cook…

a guy who doesn’t leave people behind…

a guy who knows the feeling of rejection…

a guy who is frank enough to say what he feels…

a guy who smiles and make everyone laugh, even deep inside, he’s hurting…

He is a guy who values people in his life.

Without even meeting him personally, without even having a single idea about his family background, without even knowing how intelligent he is, without even knowing what his eye color is, without even knowing his date of birth, without even knowing his type of girls, without even knowing his likes and dislikes, without even knowing how he thinks, and what his principles in life are, I fell in love with him.

I don’t know his family background, but I fell in love with him because I know that he loves them so much.

I don’t know how intelligent he is, but I fell in love with him because I know that whatever he does, he thinks about it carefully.

I don’t know what his eye color is, but I fell in love with him because I know that his eyes always speak what his heart really feels.

I don’t know his date of birth, but I fell in love with him because I know that he is God’s gift for everyone who knows him.

I don’t know his type of girls, but I fell in love with him because I know that he takes love as a serious thing and never sees it as something to be played at.

I don’t know his likes and dislikes, but I fell in love with him because I know that he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t and that he is proud of his own preferences.

I don’t know how he thinks and what his principles in life are, but I fell in love with him because I know that he thinks only for the common good, as he is a person molded by rejection and poverty.

We haven’t even met personally, but I fell in love with him because I felt something in him which I couldn’t explain.

In a single moment, my eyes see only him…

my mind could only think of him…

my mouth only speaks of him…

and my heart got stolen by him.

His face is something I could never pass a day without looking at.

His voice is something I could never forget how it sounded.

His laugh is the most remarkable one I have heard in my life.

His name is something my mind always remembers even if I am the busiest person on Earth.

He has become someone I could never live without.

He is a guy from the TV screen. Every time I would see him, it’s like I don’t want the time to end.

Every time I would hear his voice, it’s like the sound of angels, which could make me smile even in my darkest moment.

Every time I would see him with another girl, it feels like my whole world would shatter.

Every time I would see him kiss another girl, even if it’s because of his job, I could never tolerate that. I feel so furious, like he is my own. I feel cheated, like he knew about me.

I feel sad, disappointed, and heart-wrenched every time I would remember, that he is a guy whom I can only see on TV screen, a guy who doesn’t even have a single idea that I existed, a guy whom, even in my dreams, is still the farthest person to reach.

It feels so hard how I imagine the day would come when he falls in love with a girl, too. He has become my everything, my love. They say if you love someone, you have to set them free, and I guess, I am never exempted in that rule. As I am just a girl from the shadows, a girl in the crowd, a girl who is hiding behind the clouds, to which he would never hardly notice and take time to be with.

It’s so painful to realize the truth yet every time I see him, my heart spells the phrase I love you.

Every time I would see him smile, I am reminded that God has a reason why he showed me that man.

I am so happy and grateful because I fell in love with him.

My days have gotten so much brighter because I fell in love with him.

I cry endless tears and sadness because I fell in love with him.

Truly, I fell in love with a guy whom I could never live without yet the guy that I could never, ever have.

I fell in love with Kim Jaejoong ❤

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Okay, so I really feel silly after writing this one. They say that the hardest thing in being a fangirl is to fall in love with her bias and I must say that it really isssssssssss. T.T

I’m lacking sleep, I don’t feel so good yet I’m here, with a realization that after being a Cassie for 10 months, I actually fell in love with my bias ❤

Like really! I wanted to scratch myself because of this oneeeee. -____- Honestly…

Recently, Jae released a photo of him kissing his baby niece in a the cheek right? Did you know that I was slightly jealous with that one?? For real! OMGSun, I may just tear myself apart. I’m totally arguing with myself right now. -.-

Please don’t bash me like I’m a complete idiot for falling in love with her bias, okay? Because I already know! XD

*sigh*

I just hope the best for the whole DBSK not between me and that guy above! I just might send him a hate letter… Oohhh, that sounds good. LOL, If ever I get on my mood, I’ll make a letter expressing how much I hate-love him. ❤

Goodnight guys! I need to catch up with sleep…

 

 

 

 

When I Became Older…

I’ve written this while listening to Music Box versions of DBSK’s songs… :”)

It just came to my mind… how would I be if I get older?

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When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling at the things that would remind me of my fangirling days…

Red balloons…

stars…

letter W…

number 5…

the word ‘faith’…

Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be smiling unconsciously seeing an animal that I have always associated with them…

Rhinoceros… Elephants… Dolphins… Ducks… Rabbits… Deer…

My kids would probably ask Mommy why is she fond of taking these animals’ pictures while we are strolling around the zoo…

or why does Mommy is overly jealous with a random cat who crossed the street especially with the gray ones…

When I became older…

I’d probably be laughing remembering how I force myself to learn their hard choreography…

I bet I’d be boasting my kids how their mommy is a very good dancer during her teenage years…

I’d probably be tearing up remembering how dedicated I am to my boys… and how many dorky and random things I’ve done just for them…

That I once nearly crashed the mouse just because I wanted Yunho to win on allkpop poll…

That I once literally jumped out of happiness inside a department store just because I saw a Tohoshinki album…

That I slept with my wet pillow numerous nights already…

That I told my whole family that Jaejoong is in a relationship with me

That I once felt my blood boiled in anger reading that blogsite which I now hate, hate, hate…

That I’m once a trying hard Korean-speaker wanna be and tweets JYJ with senseless things

That I became a wise money spender just because I want to buy an album…

That I stayed up late at nights just to wait for the release of a new song…

That I always have this weird dreams about them…

That I always laugh in front of my laptop because I was replacing DBSK song titles with weird words…

That I actually visited an Anti site just to understand their reasons why they hate DBSK…

That I have a hard drive full of their videos only

That I registered myself in a Homin stan site just to download videos to add in my collection…

That I have written stories about me and Jaejoong or whoever member I want to pair myself up with

That I once filled a glass bottle with little red paper stars which contains reasons why I love DBSK…

That I never forget to thank God for introducing me DBSK…

And then I’d probably laugh hard remembering how I disliked DBSK at first

How I ignored them for years…

How I used to turn off that television whenever TVXQ or JYJ is in…

And how suddenly, after searching mirotic in youtube, in just an hour… the magical story began

When I became older…

I’d probably still be reminiscing how I fell in love with my boys…

Yeah, I’d probably still be calling them my boys…

Even if they’re older than me… or even if they have their own families already…

Because even if I became a mother, I would never forget how I felt like I’m the one who took care of DBSK…

The dates that are so meaningful to me will always be remembered…

January 26, February 6, February 18, June 4, December 15, December 26…

It will always be significant that my kids would probably go on wondering why does Mommy buys a cake even though there’s no particular event…

I’d probably be laughing because those were the dates where I would open my blog and type away my super long birthday greeting which I don’t know if it could personally reach them…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be humming to their songs whenever I’m bored…

I’d probably have my garden covered with plants bearing red or white flowers

I’d probably still be listening to their capellas to make myself sleep…

When people ask me of my favorite songs, I’d probably still be citing DBSK songs…

Their ballads will still be my source of strength…

Their happy songs will still be my source of smile…

Their faces will still be the source of my heart fluttering…

Their smiles will still be the source of my heart’s tears…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be smiling proudly whenever I hear or read their names or even phrases that I associated with them…

My kids would probably go wondering why I answered Jaejoong when they ask me who my favorite Hero is…

Or wonder why Mommy smiles like a fool do whenever they tell a story about Micky Mouse…

Or thinks why Mommy suddenly laughs when they tell that they’re hungry, tired or having a headache

When I become older…

I’d probably still be pausing for seconds before I answer someone who asks me ‘What time is it?’

I’d probably laugh at myself for shipping couples like YunJae, YooSu and MinFood because I’d probably reminisce at how happy I am while spazzing with my fellow Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be boasting to my kids that I have friends all over the world, which I can trust…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling myself realizing how silly I was remembering the times I go crybaby just because I saw a member with another girl…

Then I’d probably laugh at myself because at that time, I felt it was okay if he’d be hugging another member instead.

I will remember how much laughter their dorky moments gave me…

This time, instead of laughing, I’d probably be crying… just because I miss the days…

When I became older…

My husband would probably understand me why I’d be smiling on space while I watch my kids go on a pillow fight or whenever they wear animal clothes…

I will always remember how mad I was at SM Entertainment…

I’d probably be smiling over embarrassment just because I can still remember how I was eager to kill a man together with a thousand more Cassies…

Buying bazookas, loading rifles, sharpening knives… I’d probably laugh at these things…

I will remember how I’d go crazy just seeing one of the members tweet…

And then I’d probably laugh remembering how I know that my Tlist would explode just because of that one tweet…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be feeling jealous to that Cassie that Jaejoong followed accidentally…

Or to that Cassie that Changmin has sung ‘Just The Way U Are’ to…

I’d probably go and search the world just to take a picture with the red phone booth as my background…

I’d probably smile while walking inside an oceanarium because I can imagine my boys in there just like their Mirotic concert intro movie…

My kids would probably be wondering why I am laughing when they say ‘Bonjour’

They would probably ask Mommy why she’s fond of things that are colored red…

Or asks why Mommy takes home a red balloon after attending a kid’s party…

When I became older…

 I’d probably be telling my kids my wonderful experience of being a Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be smiling at my kids while they wonder what did DBSK done to their mommy for making her love them so much…

I’d probably be telling stories about my boys rather than my own story…

My friends would probably look at me with questioning glares when they suddenly talk about their childhood favorites and mentions Final Fantasy and I laughed hysterically…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be saying ‘Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum’ whenever I see one…

My husband would probably understand me best when I face the mirror and force myself to have mismatched eyes

I’d probably still want to spell TVXQ in the sand whenever my family would go on a trip on beaches…

My kids would probably laugh at Mommy for buying red light sticks which are supposed to be kids’ toys…

They would probably ask Mommy why she puts on five dots on every last page of their notebooks…

Or laugh at her whenever she exclaims ‘Oh My God Sun’

They would probably wonder why Mommy’s friends’ call her ‘Cassie’ or why Mommy does named their sister as ‘Cassie’

I’d probably laugh when one of my kids ask why I got five dogs named ‘Hero, U-Know, Max, Micky and Xiah’

Or asks why I go mad when they can’t spell Tong Vfang Xien Qi right.

When I became older…

I’d probably be speaking in fluent Korean and Japanese already…

I’d probably want to take a picture with the Eiffel Tower and at the Grand Canyon…

I’d probably tear up while looking at the night sky… while feelings of my Cassie self is pouring in…

I’d probably be watching DBSK concerts whenever I have the time…

This time… with my husband…

This time… with my kids…

This time… as a grown-up Cassie…

Whom her heart always remembers everything she went through as a fangirl…

That God can only tell how far this woman will go for DBSK…

And how much she loves them like her own children…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling my most beautiful smile… realizing that I will always be a Cassiopeia by heart and that all these memories and moments that only Cassies and TVXQ themselves can understand will always be treasured. ❤