I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…


I fell in love with a guy I could never have.

We’re countries apart.

Our age gap is nine years. He’s even older than my sister.

We don’t even speak the same language.

And around millions of people in the world, it’s only a percent of probability that we could ever meet, without even talking.

He’s a guy who is successful in his own career…

a guy who knows how to cook…

a guy who doesn’t leave people behind…

a guy who knows the feeling of rejection…

a guy who is frank enough to say what he feels…

a guy who smiles and make everyone laugh, even deep inside, he’s hurting…

He is a guy who values people in his life.

Without even meeting him personally, without even having a single idea about his family background, without even knowing how intelligent he is, without even knowing what his eye color is, without even knowing his date of birth, without even knowing his type of girls, without even knowing his likes and dislikes, without even knowing how he thinks, and what his principles in life are, I fell in love with him.

I don’t know his family background, but I fell in love with him because I know that he loves them so much.

I don’t know how intelligent he is, but I fell in love with him because I know that whatever he does, he thinks about it carefully.

I don’t know what his eye color is, but I fell in love with him because I know that his eyes always speak what his heart really feels.

I don’t know his date of birth, but I fell in love with him because I know that he is God’s gift for everyone who knows him.

I don’t know his type of girls, but I fell in love with him because I know that he takes love as a serious thing and never sees it as something to be played at.

I don’t know his likes and dislikes, but I fell in love with him because I know that he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t and that he is proud of his own preferences.

I don’t know how he thinks and what his principles in life are, but I fell in love with him because I know that he thinks only for the common good, as he is a person molded by rejection and poverty.

We haven’t even met personally, but I fell in love with him because I felt something in him which I couldn’t explain.

In a single moment, my eyes see only him…

my mind could only think of him…

my mouth only speaks of him…

and my heart got stolen by him.

His face is something I could never pass a day without looking at.

His voice is something I could never forget how it sounded.

His laugh is the most remarkable one I have heard in my life.

His name is something my mind always remembers even if I am the busiest person on Earth.

He has become someone I could never live without.

He is a guy from the TV screen. Every time I would see him, it’s like I don’t want the time to end.

Every time I would hear his voice, it’s like the sound of angels, which could make me smile even in my darkest moment.

Every time I would see him with another girl, it feels like my whole world would shatter.

Every time I would see him kiss another girl, even if it’s because of his job, I could never tolerate that. I feel so furious, like he is my own. I feel cheated, like he knew about me.

I feel sad, disappointed, and heart-wrenched every time I would remember, that he is a guy whom I can only see on TV screen, a guy who doesn’t even have a single idea that I existed, a guy whom, even in my dreams, is still the farthest person to reach.

It feels so hard how I imagine the day would come when he falls in love with a girl, too. He has become my everything, my love. They say if you love someone, you have to set them free, and I guess, I am never exempted in that rule. As I am just a girl from the shadows, a girl in the crowd, a girl who is hiding behind the clouds, to which he would never hardly notice and take time to be with.

It’s so painful to realize the truth yet every time I see him, my heart spells the phrase I love you.

Every time I would see him smile, I am reminded that God has a reason why he showed me that man.

I am so happy and grateful because I fell in love with him.

My days have gotten so much brighter because I fell in love with him.

I cry endless tears and sadness because I fell in love with him.

Truly, I fell in love with a guy whom I could never live without yet the guy that I could never, ever have.

I fell in love with Kim Jaejoong ❤

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, so I really feel silly after writing this one. They say that the hardest thing in being a fangirl is to fall in love with her bias and I must say that it really isssssssssss. T.T

I’m lacking sleep, I don’t feel so good yet I’m here, with a realization that after being a Cassie for 10 months, I actually fell in love with my bias ❤

Like really! I wanted to scratch myself because of this oneeeee. -____- Honestly…

Recently, Jae released a photo of him kissing his baby niece in a the cheek right? Did you know that I was slightly jealous with that one?? For real! OMGSun, I may just tear myself apart. I’m totally arguing with myself right now. -.-

Please don’t bash me like I’m a complete idiot for falling in love with her bias, okay? Because I already know! XD


I just hope the best for the whole DBSK not between me and that guy above! I just might send him a hate letter… Oohhh, that sounds good. LOL, If ever I get on my mood, I’ll make a letter expressing how much I hate-love him. ❤

Goodnight guys! I need to catch up with sleep…






9 thoughts on “I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…

  1. Oh my gosh..this happened to me too.I never thought thth I still love him till now.I know him since 2007 n after tht I become his bias.I use to be a fan who just obsessed about him…but later on I just found out tht I have a special feelings towards him.my heart always beating faster when evertime I saw him.hes my first person tht made my life complete..although I nver meet him.same with u.sometimes I didnt know why I became like this.I am so serious about this.sometimes when pple talk about love or marriage..the person tht will come from my mind is Jaejoong.is like whts wrong with me.its like I aready knew him n met him.everything tht wrote above is deeper from ur heart.I know it because everything tht u wrote is happening to me too.

  2. The funniest thing is our age is same.im 17.nine years dif than Jaejoong.:-) about his niece..the baby..I was like..aww..this is like in my dream.u know the most silly thing was ..I dreamed about him once before..tht he was my husband n we had one daughter.smash my head …wht is this?? Why him??I wish tht he will become a good dad one day.I hope u can meet him n talk to him one day too.;-) bye.take care.

    • Haha! Seriously, you hope that I can talk to Jaejoong personally?? Imagining it, makes my head go spinning.. HAHAHA. I don’t think I would be able to talk to him, I’d be frozen even if I just got a glimpse of him. XDDD

  3. omg …i love jj so much,for real..i start falling in love with him when i see his picture in magazines…and i just only 13years old that time…now i am 15years old,and i still fell in love with him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AKTF

  4. I like Jaejoong so much too. I am 19 and he is 7 years older than me. I have like him for 6 years. At first, i didnt like him because I thought that he is an arrogant guy but at that time i really like his voice. Super love their japanese song, Begin. After I watched a lot of DBSK’s interviews and variety shows, I found out that he is a really warm,blunt and funny guy. Since then, I like him a lot until now and never regret about it.

  5. annyeong!
    i dont know why.but i really2 LOVE him!!!!
    i always think about hiim all the time….

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