Archive | March 2012

PROUD of your LOVE…

Today is my birthday!

And I made this… and I think I’ll share it with everyone. So… I was really planning to just do some free writing, but then I ended up including song titles… 🙂

I’m a bit embarassed.. Haha! Too bad, I haven’t included all songs…  they are way too many! XD

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WHATEVER THEY SAY, I will still be a PROUD Cassiopeia in my HEART, MIND AND SOUL. Meeting TVXQ is like a RAINBOW in a SUMMER DREAM, where I felt that CRAZY LOVE and even made me carry a PICTURE OF YOU in my wallet. Because of you, I have known what LOVE IS. Because of you, every song I sing is a SONG FOR YOU, and even if there’s a DAY MOON, everyday is a BEAUTIFUL LIFE. Meeting you made me a childish fangirl… where I imagine you say HEY! GIRL, ask me WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND? And tell me the words DON’T CRY MY LOVER. I have always asked myself, what IF I get CLOSE TO YOU? Then, I would giggle because thoughts of you calling me MY GIRLFRIEND while I prepare a TEA FOR TWO as our TWO HEARTS become one would always pop up in my mind. I always look forward to the time where you’ll call me HEY! And ask me, ARE YOU A GOOD GIRL? But then, I’ll answer NO and like a PARADISE, we would CLAP! our hands and WISH that this moment will last forever.

You are my precious treasure but your image in me kept on changing. There are times when I see you as a bubbly group, someone who always have a HIGH TIME, someone who’ll say HI YA YA in a random moment. I sometimes see you as a person who possess a DANGEROUS MIND from all the hotness you guys have, to the extent that I have to FREE MY MIND from all the sexiness and even needed someone to GET ME SOME water before I faint. There are also times when I think that this is all a TRICK because the five of you are so perfect; I even thought you were LAST ANGEL on Earth.

 Starting from there, you became my BEAUTIFUL YOU and I’ve became your FLOWER LADY. Whenever I see BALLOONS, my heart REMEMBERS that YOU’RE MY MIRACLE. You taught me how to RIDE ON the flow of situations and even taught me to keep the faith. My love for you has grown which can be compared to a PHANTOM, I can’t see it but I can just feel it and with that I am certain that there’s YOU ONLY LOVE. This feeling will never go away and will continue ON AND ON. I want to say THANKS TO you for everything you’ve endured just for me, for Cassiopeias, and for calling me MY LITTLE PRINCESS.

There may be MILLION MEN in the world, but because I am a CHOOSEY LOVER, it’s YOU ALWAYS whom I crave for that’s why even if you change THE WAY U ARE, I will NEVER LET GO and will never take back my word when I say I BELIEVE in you when you said I’LL BE THERE.

With the current situation you are in, it feels like I want to RUNAWAY from all these pain and tears; it feels like dialing a WRONG NUMBER. Everyday has been a RAINY NIGHT, a CRAZY LIFE, and I felt like being a WILD SOUL lost in a MAZE. My love felt hopeless like LOVE IN THE ICE, but it’s funny how I am certain that even if we’re in a MIROTIC situation, you will still be my FOREVER LOVE and that there’s NOTHING BETTER than that.

I’m sorry because I have said many WHITE LIES like I’m okay but I know I’m not… LIKE NOW, like TONIGHT, I am HOLDING BACK THE TEARS again looking for a SHELTER to hear the WHISPER OF the wind to calm myself wishing you to STAY WITH ME TONIGHT and TRY MY LOVE.

Like a LITTLE KID, I wanted to HUG you while saying PLEASE, STOP THE TIME. LOVIN’ YOU may be the hardest thing now and due to circumstances, you even said DON’T FORGET ME… to many, this may feel like a DEAD END… but BECAUSE TOMORROW COMES, I know there’ll always be a RISING SUN, saying that even when oceans BREAK UP THE SHELL, your love for us, Cassies, will always be ETERNAL. I’ll never look again for SOMEBODY TO LOVE because I know that YOU ARE MY MELODY and MY DESTINY. I will never say LOVE BYE LOVE because YOUR LOVE IS ALL I NEED, that’s why I’ll be ALWAYS THERE for you. I will TAKE YOUR HANDS while saying the words I’ll STAND BY U forever. I WANNA HOLD YOU, hush you from crying, take away all your suffering and pain and promise you that I will never KISS SHITA MAMA SAYONARA. I know that THE STORY HAS JUST BEGUN and that there will always be LOVE AFTER LOVE.

I really MISS YOU, the reason why I am eager to the time WHEN WE’LL BE TOGETHER. There may be FORGOTTEN SEASONS but you will remain UNFORGETTABLE, you will always SHINE in my heart. From the first time I saw you, I’ve never questioned myself WHY DID I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU? Because you, TVXQ, itself is the reason why. So please, DON’T SAY GOODBYE… I know that taking a STEP BY STEP, we’ll get closer to the time we’ll say HELLO AGAIN. Even though we’ve been through the hardest time there is… we can always BEGIN again, in A WHOLE NEW WORLD, erasing the DARKNESS EYES, under the same peaceful SKY, like the peaceful fleeting sound of BOLERO, and that’s a YAKUSOKU. Even if the world reaches up to the year 9095 or 9096, we’ll always be TOGETHER. I will STAND UP! and KISS THE BABY SKY with you WITH ALL MY HEART.

Cassiopeia and TVXQ are ONE, that even PURPLE LINE cannot define their relationship. We will take over and SHARE THE WORLD together. NOBODY KNOWS but WE ARE! the only SURVIVOR because after all this time, it has been TVXQ and Cassiopeia’s SECRET GAME and that we’ll never be separated even by the largest distance possible… because TVXQ said that LOVE IS NEVER GONE and just like in Jaejoong and Yoochun’s words, we’re like a MELODY AND HARMONY in love.

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Why Did I Fell In Love With DBSK?

Okay… so our Internet connection was lost yesterday around 10:30PM and I was bored, I got nothing to do…

Since I love DBSK too much, I started thinking about them. 🙂 As always…

Then, I remembered a fellow Cassie asking the very specific reason why you fell in love with DBSK in the first place?

My answer has gone a bit too long… but anyways, here it is! 😀

I started typing away and didn’t realize I’m on my 8th page already… and it’s gonna be 3AM soon. xD

NOTE: I am going to tell you my… err, not entire… but a bit of story about how I met them and other stuffs. I was an f(x) fan, SONE and Shawol back then and as you read on… you’ll notice that I’ll be mentioning them. I may compare but don’t get me wrong… I love all of these groups for they became my stepping stone to meeting DBSK. It’s not that I don’t like them or I hate them but when DBSK enters the story… everything changes. 🙂

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One of the hardest questions that was asked to me was: What is the very specific reason that made you fell in love with DBSK?

I am now a Cassiopeia, who is keeping the faith, particularly… but I wonder…

why is it so damn hard to answer that single question?

Is it because I don’t know the answer? Or I have so many reasons, too much to choose only one?

I know… I don’t know how to start this thing, so let’s go back to my first days with TVXQ, how I ignored them through the years, up to my first tear for them, first laugh, first smile, up until now.

Back in 2009, I met f(x) and Girls’ Generation through the help of my friend, who loves K-pop. I am a dancer and I was looking for something to do for my talent portion and she gave me the link for La Chata and Gee. After that, my other friend gave me the link to TVXQ’s Purple Line. It was a dance practice, actually. I watched it and when I came halfway, I closed the video. I thought the dance was way too hard, plus, I don’t like it because of the mere fact that I don’t know who they are. Yeah, I know… I made a wrong move with that. ^_^ v

Then November 2011 came… I am Shawol that time, and I think that SHINee are just way too awesome, like everything’s perfect already. I started going crazy about reading Asianfanfics and came across a writer that I really loved because she writes amazing stories. She is a fan of SMTown artists actually, and she always makes stories with her biases as the lead characters.

I loved her story about how these five idols from different groups made up a new team. They are making their new album with Mirotic as the title track. Then the chapter where they record for the song came, I remember my Girls’ Generation bias Yoona gets Jaejoong’s lines. I don’t know who the heck Jaejoong was back then. -.-” Yeah, I admit it… I am such a kid living under a rock for being ignorant about the hottest guy on K-pop ever. Then on the story, Changmin keeps complaining about how Yoona’s voice sound like this and like that when it should sound sharp like how Jaejoong delivers it.

My curiosity for Mirotic and how Jaejoong delivers the line raised… which made me look up for Mirotic’s lyrics and a Mirotic video. The first result from my youtube seach was a dance video. I clicked on it, planning to see the dance as well, as I am a dancer, too. I can clearly remember, how I repeated the video like, ten times or so. I couldn’t say that I fell in love with TVXQ because of looks. Clearly not… as I remember myself talking about how Junsu, Yoochun and Yunho looks old and not that handsome compares to other guys while I find Changmin and Jaejoong as the okay type. Don’t bash on me… It’s a dance video, plus, it’s my nature back then to just ignore idol groups that I’m not a fan of. It’s completely normal to me. But the next thing I knew, I was singing along to the song, searching for more of their music and even searching up the members’ names.

I have forgotten about reading fanfictions. I became busy trying to recognize their faces and differentiate each. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their looksJaejoong and Changmin became the top two idols on my list with amazing facial features. I loved how Jaejoong looked like he jumped out of an anime series or whatever. I loved Yunho’s charismatic look, the way he would always frown in the camera and how he look so damn sharp in Mirotic. I loved Junsu’s cute look and always find it amazing how hot he looks like in Mirotic, it’s like the way total opposite! I loved Yoochun’s… hair? Haha! He looks completely like the normal and average guy to me… Well, atleast he doesn’t look that ugly to me like I first saw him in the video. Don’t get me wrong I love Yoochun, too! In fact, all five of them holds a special place in my heart. ❤

I watched Purple Line’s dance video again that time and asked myself, “Why did I ignore them all this time?” That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their talent for dancingI love how everyone is in sync, doing those extra-hard choreographies. Other groups use patterns in their choreographies that only need synchronization for their dances, like, they just need to rely on one another to complete the dance but in DBSK another thing is needed, and that’s skill. I am such a complete babo how I appreciated the dance like, two years later. Is DBSK that hot that I need two friggin’ years to absorb them? O.o

That night, I can still remember, the first time I listened to a DBSK ballad. I came with their video in A-Nation singing the song Why Did I Fall in Love with You? It was one of the turning points in my life; I was completely dazed by these guys. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of the fact that they sing from their hearts. It has always amazed me how they seem to be the one who fell in love with their friend who’s going to marry another guy. Like, really. I have seen f(x), Girls’ Generation, SHINee and even other groups sing ballads, but it is only in DBSK where I have seen such passion for it, for living out the emotions within the song, for bringing out their hearts while singing. Trust me, only in them.

The second ballad I listened to was Love in the Ice. It actually sounded familiar to me that time, as it was used for one of Girls’ Generation tribute video by a fan. I’m a SONE that time, remember? 🙂 That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of their singing abilities. One of the things I am most proud about right now is the fact that DBSK CAN sing. Like, each of them, all five of them, can hit high notes, can sing passionately, perfect. I’ve been exposed to other groups before DBSK that’s why my amazement for DBSK is way too high. I’ve been used to groups who got one or two main and lead singers, the other members for visual and dancers, that’s why when I met SHINee, I thought they’re perfect, for having three to four members who can actually hit high notes. But in DBSK, all five can… being a visual, or a main dancer is an add-on. Just a side note, I listened to their song Tonight, too. And I was completely blown by Junsu’s first high note followed by Changmin’s up to Jaejoong’s to die for falsetto. I couldn’t blink my eyes for an hour there, haha! Just kidding… but they completely amazed me, as always.

After repeating Love in the Ice over and over again, err… yes I did that, I even messaged it to my friend, I saw a cappella video of them. I clicked it and listened to it. That moment was damn WOW. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can harmonize as one. It’s the first time for me to listen to an idol group sing an actual a cappella, where they use their voices as background music or instruments… that magical moment when five individual voices becomes one. It always amazes me that up until now, DBSK never needed back-up singers, because they back-up one another by themselves.

And because I want something groovy to lighten up the atmosphere, I searched for Mirotic live. At that time, I haven’t seen DBSK perform a dance song yet, just ballads. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can sing perfectly while dancing energetically. I’m okay with hearing breathing sounds while watching a live version of a song because I was used to f(x) and Girls’ Generation’s performances. They always have those heavy breathing sounds while singing and I’m okay with it, saying it’s a proof that they’re singing live. But in DBSK? Heck no, it’s so freakin’ rare that you would actually hear them pant heavily on microphones. You can see their shoulders going up and down rapidly from panting but you can never hear it. That’s what you call AMAZING. It’s so funny how in DBSK, even without those breathing sounds, I can easily say if they’re lip-synching or not. A lot of people say that their live version is better than those recorded, and I have to say I completely agree. Two thumbs up! Do you want my feet up, too? 😀

Yes, that night, that day, I became hyped… finding and discovering the perfect group out there. Okay, I promise they’ll be the last, I’ve called f(x) perfect too, then I discovered Girls’ Generation, then SHINee. Guilty, I proclaimed them as perfect, too. But now I am certain! DBSK is the one. 🙂

After getting myself dizzy from all the hotness and everything, I came to know more about the break-up. That’s my breaking point that time. I didn’t know how and why, but I found myself crying, watching a tribute video for them. That’s the time, I REALIZE THAT I AM, INDEED, IS A CASSIOPEIA ALREADY. I have always reminded myself not to fall too much because I know myself; I am a sensitive person who has shallow tears. I know that being completely hooked up in DBSK won’t do any better for me and that it will just drop me in a dark abyss to which I can never escape. I cried myself out… thinking why, does it have to be them? Fearing the fact that they will be just memories forever.

That time I realized, DBSK was just there all along, I just ignored them. There are many instances that I have come across DBSK, HoMin and JYJ at different occasions yet I have been ignoring them all these time. It flooded back to me, memories of how I’ve seen them, where I’ve seen them, and how I reacted was perfectly detailed in my memory, clear and lucid like a transparent glass. I remember when I was a SONE, the time where I tried looking for Purple Line’s dance video again, but ended up watching the Wrong Number MV. I remember how I laughed at Micky’s I really wanna touch myself line. Another instance, I saw JYJ on TV, their Ayy Girl MV actually. I saw the lyrics and they are in English, but I have always wondered that time, why is it that they don’t look like Americans? They look like Koreans to me… O.o I’m telling you, that’s my exact thought. And as the usual, I turned off the TV, not even completing the whole song. I remembered when I became interested in searching up MR Removed live performances. You can look up on my messages in FB, I have messaged my friends a lot of MR Removed videos, and I remembered how I sent them a Mirotic video, with the captions They’re the best. I’m such a babo and couldn’t stop myself from thinking… Why did I said They’re the best yet I didn’t became a Cassie? I remembered how I see them as… like a bunch of old perfectly talented idols from the past. Like, don’t bash on me, but that’s how I actually saw them as… until I learnt that Super Junior is older than DBSK. LOL, just kidding! I found it out when I became a Cassie but back when I was a SONE, I look up on them just exactly the way how I see Shinhwa right now. My respect for them is sooo high, you can’t even imagine…  Another funny situation, because I was a SONE back then, I always tune in to Music Bank to watch them. That time I came running late for the usual time slot, a bit of confident as I know how Girls’ Generation gets to perform the last… but surprisingly, when I turned on the TV, there are two guys in checkered white and black singing. That’s HoMin. They sang Keep Your Head Down and Rising Sun, I think? It’s Music Bank in Tokyo, right? Am I right? Oh God, I’m losing my memory… but I’m sure you guys can remember that performance. My brother and my cousin were there with me, tolerating my Kpop madness. My brother bet on me, saying those two guys right there, I bet that they farted in that performance… not just in that performance, since they debuted, I bet you, I’m right… and I was just laughing at him! He keeps on insisting that HoMin farts on performances. It is only now that I have realized… that there are three more people farting with them during performances since debut. Its magic how these came back to me very detailed, I can even remember our conversation. PS. I was disappointed that time, learning that the TVXQ duo is the last performers.

It doesn’t stop right there. Though I cried my eyes out already, I continued to search for their personal backgrounds, especially Jaejoong. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because each of them had their fair share of hardships in life before getting the glory they truly deserve. I am stricken how each of their stories is inspiring. I remember crying reading about Jaejoong’s story and struggles in life and watching Yoochun cry while he tells his experience in America, the place he doesn’t want to go back to. That time, I knew then and there, that DBSK has inspired me, they taught me to never give up on my dream no matter how hard and tough the roads ahead are. How I look at DBSK changed… they’re not just idols who sings and performs for their fans, but are artists who are determined to become what they are, who takes singing not as a job, but as passion and who, inspires people not just by their songs, but their own personal stories and lives as well. It is only in DBSK… where members are willing to sing, even if there is one Cassiopeia left.

After searching endless topics about DBSK, I came across reading fanaccounts and significant events about them. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they are strong enough to endure all hardships and pain, and how they consider fans’ feelings first before their own. I salute DBSK. Yunho’s food poisoning, the accident, Jaejoong’s injury, how they are being overworked, everything… yet after all these things, it’s amazing how they consider fans first. I remember Jaejoong saying that he would rather have no fans at all than to see them wait for him in the rain, how he promised not to cry in front of Cassiopeia. It is in DBSK where I have heard such heartfelt words, it pierced through my heart how they are able to think of those things when they themselves, are in pain. Okay, I have to start holding back tears now. Oh, dammit, why does my Ipod have to shuffle at Insa right now? Not helping at all…

It’s like a day after I became a Cassie when I started reading their Wikipedia page. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they put even their heart at work, they compose their own songs. It amazes me how this group has members who contributes to their own music. And another amazing thing is, whatever their compositions are, it automatically gets in my favorites. Even Jaejoong’s 9095 is a favorite song. LOL, it may sound weird to most people, but I’m completely in love with it. I love Junsu’s lyrics to the song Picture of You and Changmin’s Love in the Ice. I loved Jaejoong’s Wasurenaide, too. In fact, it’s my song of the day. 🙂 Another thing amazing is all of them are talented in musical instruments. Do I still have to enumerate? LOL, it’s taking up time, it’s been over an hour since I started typing this and I’m not even planning to put an end in this thing.

After finding about their compositions, I have learned about their banjun dramas and individual films and TV series as well, may it be a cameo or being the main character. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they’re not just mere singers, dancers and composers, they’re actors. Yes, this is the truth. They are excellent actors. I have seen their banjun dramas, though most seems funny to me, I am amazed how they act really great. I have seen Dating on Earth too, Yoochun’s Rooftop Prince and a bit of Jaejoong’s Heaven’s Postman. I am planning to watch Yunho’s Heading to the Ground, Changmin’s Paradise Ranch, Jaejoong’s Protect the Boss, Yoochun’s SKK scandal, Junsu’s musicals and other Japanese films they’ve done. One thing’s holding me back actually, and that’s because they got leading ladies! Argh… I can put up with Jaejoong having one-sided love, but never gonna tolerate it when they got kiss scenes! Aish, I’m into a berserk mode, actually… Still, I’m in love with them because of that.

Days passed, I became more and more addicted to DBSK. And that’s how All About DBSK came to my attention. I first watched, AADBSK III. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because of the powerful bond they have for one another. I remember Junsu saying they started as members, but now it’s not like that, they’re now brothers, family. Every pairing there is in this group is to ship for. I have seen so many videos of DBSK and I find it amusing how they are all comfortable with each other, hugging and crying with each other, bullying Junsu, teasing their crybaby Yoochun, how their evil maknae bullies everyone especially Jaejoong and how they would hit Yunho’s arm with their fingers with all their might. It’s so cute to see how in concerts, they would run and fool around, do funny dances together, imitating chunface, and even imitating each other’s laugh… Junsu’s, particularly.

Later that November, I learnt about JYJ having twitter accounts and how they are socially active in the internet. Even I am not, really not, a fan of twitter, I even promised myself not to make a twitter account since I don’t really understand it… I still made one just to follow JYJ. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they can make me do things out of my shell. I remember trying to learn their oh-so-hard dance choreographies. I remember telling my mom that I really, really wanna go to Korea after I graduate just to see these guys. I remember making a blog just for them… the cassieforever. I swear, I really didn’t picture myself as a person who blogs things. But, it just came… and DBSK was the first one to come to my mind. I have even downloaded Sony Vegas Pro just because I wanted to do a video for them. Most of the time, I would lock myself in the room, just to do some freewriting, and it’s funny how it always ends up as an essay about DBSK. And right now, I requested my dad to buy an external drive for me because I am collecting DBSK videos. Just… really… From the day that I have seen and fell in love with Mirotic, I have never pictured myself doing these kinds of things. And I know that there’s actually more to come.

So, it’s been over two hours since I started this. There’s no internet connection actually, and I’m bored. 🙂 This is what happens. My sketchpad is almost full actually, full of essays, 90% DBSKified.

So, where I am now? Oh… it’s been how many months since I became a Cassie? It’s amazing how these Cassiopeias from all over the world share and send their love for me even when we’re oceans and countries apart. I feel so loved, I feel so blessed. Ever since I became a Cassie, I became matured. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because like a guidance counselor, they taught me the right thing and like a parent, they led me to the right way. When I was an f(x) fan, I would go on and fight verbally in youtube, with anti’s who compare them to other groups saying this or that group is better. When I was a SONE, I’m still the same, having Yoona as my bias isn’t easy; she got like, the most number of international anti-fans. It is in that stage where I became an aggressive person, who gets annoyed easily at hate comments and the type of person who would fight back. But the moment I became a Cassie, even if they say this or that group is better, I learned that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, to just keep silent when there are trolls in the video, to be the big person to apologize and say sorry, to make fun of trolls, thanking them for the views and added comments and to team up with other fandoms, supporting them raise the views of their own video too. It’s funny how I see myself acting as an adult, who rationalizes everything, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, and not easily judging a person by a single mistake. It’s true… It’s all in DBSK how I learned these things. Cassiopeia taught me… DBSK taught us. ❤

After some time, I accidentally came across a video of theirs where they describe Cassiopeia. It totally made a mark in my heart as it’s the first time I have seen an idol group that made something like this. In Jaejoong’s words, Cassiopeia is like his eyelashes, because even if he plucks 4 eyelashes a day, it keeps on growing very rapidly. It never thins out. In Yoochun’s words, Cassiopeia is like his gaze, because the more you look at it, the more you are drawn into it. In Junsu’s words, Cassiopeia is a family. In Changmin’s words, Cassiopeia is DBSK, because Cassiopeia and DBSK are one. In Yunho’s words, Cassiopeia is Mah-Bah-Gi, because there are no other words necessary. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because they love Cassiopeia, treating them as the group’s oxygen, enabling them to breathe. Amazing… I actually memorized their lines. Haha! Typical me…

Right now, we’re still in a daze… still waiting for DBSK to come back together again. But still, as a Cassiopeia, I never gave up on them, I support them whether two or three… or even one. I became exposed to JYJ’s song and so as TVXQ duo’s songs and interviews. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because even if they are separated, they still keep the faith on each other. With the release of TVXQ duo’s Still… I was reminded of my faith. BIG TIME. JYJ has always been the open one about how they miss their members and how they wanted to see them again and all… and with the release of TXVQ duo’s new song… it feels like all unexpressed feeling, and all words left unsaid are delivered in that song. I love it how even if they were not open and not that expressive about the issue as much as JYJ was, their eyes speak the truth.

Due to my curiosity, I’ve explored many sites just to get the truth about DBSK’s lawsuit and all issues connected to it. I even came to a time where I’m a step away to losing my faith, good thing there are Cassies who strengthened it for me, who held it for me, when I myself, couldn’t find the strength to have a grip on it. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK because no matter how many negative things are thrown at them, how many mistakes they’ve done, how much they’ve hurt and made me cry, I just couldn’t let them go. It is magic… It is magic, what held us together is pure magic that even if they say JYJ betrayed Homin or the other way around, I just couldn’t let go of them. The sasaeng issues and Jaejoong’s countless swearing… I just couldn’t get him out of my heart. He’s still my bias. DBSK making me cry every single day… it isn’t new to me and sometimes I get really tired from it… but it’s frustrating how I still can’t get them out of my head. I hate it because I love DBSK way too much that even if I have found a thousand reasons to let them go, I couldn’t find myself actually doing so.

As another day passes, DBSK never fails to give me another reason to love them. Every single day, the word PERFECT is always unveiled in my eyes whenever I see them, the five of them. That’s the time I fell in love with DBSK not only because they mark history in music industry but because they set records too… in my heart, like never before. They are always the first band to make me do this, does that, be like this, be like that… It’s always them. They became my standard markers and its unbelievable how they set the bar real high that I am always afraid I’d live forever alone. The trending hashtag in my lifetime. #foreveralone. My list of reasons why I fell in love with DBSK could go on forever… but it will always come down to one…

I fell in love with DBSK because… they are… DBSK. ❤ because they are DBSK, they are good in singing, because they are DBSK, they are good in dancing, because they are DBSK, they are inspiring, because they are DBSK, they can harmonize as one… because they are DBSK… DBSK… DBSK… I will never be a Cassiopeia… if it weren’t for DBSK…

It’s funny how I made it up to seven pages, yet my question still didn’t got an answer. What is the very specific reason that made you fell in love with DBSK?

In the first place, all my reasons stated above are the reasons I have found after I fell in love with DBSK. Now I know… the reason why I couldn’t find a reason to let them go… is… because I fell in love with DBSK for no reason to begin with… I have realized, that even after twenty years, my whole lifetime, that I would still be looking forward for that comeback stage even if the word impossible itself is right before my eyes, even if I get old, I would like to see them personally and say, I’ve been waiting for the five of you all this time… DBSK, TVXQ, Tohoshinki… whatever name they call you. I could never go on a day without you. I miss you and I’m looking forward to that precious day where all five of you would reunite.

DBSK is a part of my life now. It’s amazing how I am certain, that even if I became a grandmother, I would still proclaim Love in the Ice as my favorite song. I’ll probably still be crying when listening to Proud. I would still watch Mirotic every day. I would still say Jaejoong, Yunho, Junsu, Yoochun and Changmin are my stars in the night sky. Even in my last breath, I would still say Always Keep the Faith.

I hate you DBSK… because I love you so much to even think about something else other than my faith and my love for you. I believe in the day that we can personally meet, and you know the first thing I would do? I would like to punch you guys and scold you for making me cry everyday… and then give you a warm hug after. ❤

Always Keep the Faith Cassiopeia, because when you live out the word faith, the word impossible becomes meaningless. 🙂

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

So, how was it?

I am really planning to add more… but I think it’s just way too long already~! xD

Haha! 😀


Rumor, Death, Pain… and Tears

It’s March 16… I still have lots of school works to do but I felt the urge to write here and just…

let all my opinions out…

It felt like as another day pass, another tragic moment will come.

This moment, is like a typhoon for Cassies and DBSK to endure.

It all started with Yoochun hitting a fan… when later, a video came up… a much closer one, with Yoochun the one being hit.

Then, the sasaeng rumors, Jaejoong hitting a sasaeng, plus voice audios of the JYJ members.

It led the public to know more and be aware of what these sasaengs really are, what are the things they usually do and up to what extent they can do things…

They are too many, too scary and too horrifying to mention.

A video of Changmin being hit by a bag of rocks in the face is uploaded too.

Various kpop sites like soompi and allkpop released news regarding the sasaengs, a manager’s interview about it and even interviews from the sasaengs themselves.

Then came, Junsu saying on twitter that our dear Jaejoongie is stressed out.

After that, Changmin’s dear grandmother died.

I can imagine the pain… Just months ago, I lost my grandfather too… :”(

What more if it’s a parent?

Just like what happened to our dear Yoochun

After a successful concert in South America, a horrifying news welcomed JYJ especially Yoochun.

What’s worse is that he got informed by the people, both fans and reporters in the airport…

Not even coming from his own family. 😦

Pictures of him crying his eyes out spread like wildfire in the internet.

People blaming Homin, claiming them as heartless as they didn’t attended Yoochun’s father’s funeral…

Same with blaming JYJ for not attending on Changmin’s grandma’s funeral…

Oh C’mon people… are you really so narrow minded about this??

Both lost someone, all five are grieving, all five are exhausted…

Can we not be contented with the thought that deep inside, all five are included in each other’s prayers?

They may not be there for each other physically…

but I’m a thousand percent sure, their hearts are with one another…

News about Yoohwan collapsing, and Yoochun not even eating… nor sleeping…

News about Jaejoong getting IV treatment in his home because of fainting…

Pictures of Junsu getting thinner day by day…

News about Changmin and Yoochun going back to work as soon as the funeral is over…

Anti’s bringing up the bitter separation from the past, claiming Yunho is the one responsible for the break-up….

It’s sad…

It’s depressing…

Everything’s in total chaos.

Cassiopeia… crying their eyes out.

Cassiopeia… under depression.

Cassiopeia… who lost two family members too.

Cassiopeia… who pray for all five of them everyday.

Cassiopeia… whom, even hurting, still continues to smile to give the boys’ strength.


You just proved yourselves as being in a different level compared to other fandoms.

TVXQ… Please continue to be strong…

U-Know Yunho… We will always remember what you told us… To only believe in what the five of you has to say… We believe in the five of you.

Max Changmin… Please continue to be strong, we actually missed your smile. Sincere condolences from Cassiopeia.

Hero Jaejoong… We know you regret not being able to attend Yoochun’s father’s funeral a lot… but please get well soon… We’re so worried about you.

Micky Yoochun… A man of tears… Please stop starving yourself! We know you’re depressed but please don’t forget to take care of yourself too, okay? We’ll always be here for you. Deepest condolences from Cassiopeia.

Xiah Junsu… You too! Please take care of yourself, ne? Please continue to be there for JaeJae umma and for Yoochun. Cass worries for you because you look like you haven’t eaten for days.

Cassiopeia… I love you guys… Seriously…

How much? I don’t know either…

Let’s always be there for each other, okay?

Smile now~

A day will come, where everything’s at peace, where all five’s smiles are present, where we continue to be the naughty, playful Cassies we always are…

A day will come, where all five boys’ are hand in hand, together in one stage…

Thanking us… because we waited and held on a single hope and continued to keep…

the same faith through the years.

U-Know Yunho fighting!

Choikang Changmin fighting!

Youngwoong Jaejoong fighting!

Micky Yoochun fighting!

Dong Bang Shin Ki fighting!

CASSIOPEIA fighting!



Xiah Junsu fighting!

*We love you Junsu ^^*

— I missed this…—