Cassiopeia’s Precious Day!

Because in this same day, 7 years ago… our one and only Shim Changmin, our Voldemin, became a loving parent to us… Giving us one of the most important thing to a person.

A name.

And here we are, bearing the most beautiful name we know, Cassiopeia.

In this name we took pride.
In this name we became one.
In this name our boys says thank you.
In this name our boys says I love you.

You are one of the most precious persons our boys have known.
Because in this name, we became a legend.
And in this same name, we will always stay together.

Despite being in a fandom that is known as the strongest, a fandom that is known as the largest, there so many hardships around that only us can bear, only us know and only us feel.
Many people are bashing us left and right… what hurts the most is when the one doing it bears the same name.
So what if they call you delusional? Tell them, “Hell yeah, there are a million delusionals all over the world. Wanna join?” with your pretty smiling face, as a cherry on top! ❤

There is saying, “You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

I beg to differ.

Why… even if it’s not funny, I keep on laughing at Junsu’s oyaji gags even if I’ve watched it a hundred times already?

Why… do I still laugh everytime I watch DBSK dancing that dance for the grandmothers during Over The Mountain?

Why… do I find it hilarious everytime I watch them fail on chopping logs?

Why… do I still laugh at Changmin banging his head on the gong?

Why… do I still laugh with the same Chunface again and again?

Why… do I laugh everytime?

I can laugh at any DBSK joke again and again and I don’t know why… but I’m sure there are a whole lot others having the same case as mine.
“But why do I keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

That’s right. Why?
Because I love them?
Because it hurts so much?
Because they’re not together?

or because I love them so much that it hurts to see them not together?

I’m telling you right now. It’s okay to cry. Release it all.
You can unleash the pure hearted Cassiopeia inside you right now.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who cries tears that have so much meaning.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who smiles at little things.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who laughs everytime their boys do.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia within you that loves without limits…

So, to you who is hurting.
To you who is laughing.
To you who is smiling.
To you who is crying.
and to you… who is waiting.

remember that I’m always here too.
Beside you hurting.
Beside you laughing.
Beside you smiling.
Beside you crying.
And beside you… waiting.

And if you feel that no one understands you… remember me. Remember the name you bear. Remember Cassiopeia.
Because it doesn’t matter which language you spoke…
We can understand every bit of what you feel right now. We’re the ones who understand you best.

Because we’re more than just a shining constellation in the Northern sky.
We are a part of each other. We’re always with you… inside your heart.

Lastly, I want you all to be happy. I want us to be happy… and accepting what happened is a part of it.
We’re not gonna let go and especially not gonna forget.
Because everything, every memory has became a part of who we are. Acceptance is what matters most.
Acceptance to me… is very hard. But I’m doing my best at it… and someday, I’m looking forward to seeing those old memories without getting all bitter about it.
So let’s cheer on our five boys along the way!

Dong Bang Shin Ki, TVXQ, JYJ, down to Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.

And to you… who is celebrating your very own birthday. Be proud… There is no one like us.
There is no one like us… Us who tries our hardest to understand and accept a situation we never really wanted to happen.
And that’s what makes us so precious.
Because out of so many…
We’re the ones who stayed.

Happy Birthday, fellow Cassie!

May we have another year filled with happiness as wide as Yoochun’s forehead, joy as big as Junsu’s butt, smiles as beautiful as Jaejoong’s, and love…
So much love that it can reciprocate Changmin’s love for his food.
And where’s leader-shi? Oh forget it. He’s still sleeping.

Happy Birthday once again, Cassiopeia~
7 years and still shining. Cheers!

Always keep the faith. A word with five precious letters guided by the love of God. 🙂

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’ been a long time since I posted.

I missed you all~

:”>

9 Years of Loving TVXQ

This morning when I opened twitter, I saw cheesy lines being thrown everywhere by my T-list and then I wondered, what’s happening? And then I saw them trending…

Dun

Dun

DUN

DUN!

Oh My God Sun!

How could I not prepare for this special day!?

I guess I’m really busy… I haven’t had time to prepare nor the time to join the trending. 😦

I guess I would just be participating in the last hashtag later on…

Last anniversary, I remember compiling their song lyrics and making it my message but for now, I’m going to make something quick and straight from the heart…

9 things I want TVXQ to know…

More specifically, 9 Things I want to say to TVXQ this anniversary…

There are so many things a Cassie like me wants to convey for their “more precious than gems” TVXQ so I’ll just go and start off by saying, “Fighting!”

I want TVXQ to know that every little thing they do… is MAGIC! XD LOL, just kidding. But, what I’m saying is… every little thing they do, every song they release is always appreciated. I may be disappointed at times… but I never disregard your hardwork.

Keep up the good work!

May it be the best song of the year, or even the worst song of the century! Just remember for sure, I’ll always be with you… Even if everyone has turned their backs on you, I will always be there beside you, looking over with a proud smile saying, “Fighting!”

Never give up… for I have never made plans on giving up on you, either.

With that said, I want you to know that you’re always the best for me.

It doesn’t matter whether you have hairstyles from the Tri-Angle days or if all of you have the crazy unique bowl cut Yoochun has during Mirotic or whether you color your hairs like weird ice creams, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you have your accent while speaking Korean or if you can’t speak straight English or you look like an idiot for singing songs you never understand, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you slipped on the stage, sang the wrong lyrics, dropped your mic on-stage, you cracked your voice while singing or even wearing off your shoes in the middle of a performance, it doesn’t matter.

As long as you’re TVXQ.

As long as you stay as Jung Yunho who can’t hide his Jeollado accent,

Kim Jaejoong who colors his hair like a cheese-flavored ice cream,

Park Yoochun who tries on any hairstyle, may it be curly long hair or that crazy half-bowl cut,

Kim Junsu who tries his hardest to speak English fully and clearly and;

Shim Changmin who once slept on the stage.

I don’t want you to change… because the next thing I want you to know… just like what Bruno Mars say…I love you just the way you are.

That’s what makes you special.

Cassies loves you together with all your flaws and weaknesses, together with all the shortcomings and hindrances, together with all the mistakes you’ve done because in our eyes you are something special…

And if we can wish for another lifetime, we would still wish to be your Cassiopeia. A Cassiopeia who understands. A Cassiopeia who cares. A Cassiopeia with an open heart to love every little thing about you…

Because you know what?

TVXQ… you’re every little bit of Cassiopeia. :”>

And if you would ask me… I want you to know that I would never choose to fall in love with you any other way.

The fact that I’ve ignored you for years before falling head over heels in love with you… the fact that I became a Cassie after the lawsuit… the fact that I belonged to other fandoms first before coming in here… I realized that I don’t regret any of it…

All the tears

All the laughter

All the memories

All the heartaches

Because that’s what makes me what I am right now.

It may seem like liking you makes me an oldschool teenager in the eyes of another… but I have never once regret the fact that I loved a band that for other people, seemed to exist centuries ago.

And with that I want you to know that I also don’t want my dear TVXQ to regret anything they’ve done and decided so far.

It’s what makes you now.

You may have chosen the wrong path or made wrong decisions in your life and in your career but I want you to know that I, as a Cassiopeia, accepts everything of it and I don’t want you to sulk in your room and regret any of it.

Jaejoong unable to do the Rising Sun promotions because of his leg… No, Jae, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yunho says sorry because of the hiatus… No, Yunho, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yoochun crying because he was sorry for leaving his brother behind… We all know the reason why you have to. I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Junsu crying while singing W. I knew exactly the reason why, Junsu. Don’t regret it. It’s okay.

Changmin ate all the food in the fridge.

.

.

.

YOU SNEAKY YOUNG MAN! WHY DID YOU EAT IT ALL? WHAT ABOUT YOUR HYUNGS, DO YOU WANT THEM TO DIE OF HUNGER HUH!? JUST HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE IT THROUGHOUT ALL THESE NINE YEARS?

But yeah… I don’t you to regret it. It’s okay.

I know your relationship with food. It’s a part of being “you.”

We’re clear, right? 😀 I don’t want you to lose your time and sanity trying to regret and sulk about a mistake, okay? It’s how we learn, it’s how people grow up. Plus, we only live once. And who knows? Maybe if you’ve done a different thing in the past, I wouldn’t have met you. That would be so frustrating, I guess. So, I’m thankful and you should too! Arasso? 😀

Now the fourth thing I want you to know… It may be a clichéd line already but…

You… TVXQ… I know you already know this but I want to say it to you again.

You have changed my life.

No wonder I’m weird. XD LOL, just kidding.

But… seriously, I could not ask for more… I want to continue like this, you being my TVXQ, me being your Cassiopeia, we… changing lives of one another. An exact piece of puzzle to one another…

To the extent that you can say…

TVXQ would never be here without Cassiopeia. ❤

And to the extent that I can say…

I would never be the same without TVXQ. :”>

With all these overflowing emotions… I want you to know that I’m very thankful.

Two words that could suffice for everything you’ve done for me, two words that contains all my heart, two words that needs no more explanation after being said…

TVXQ… I know… that you would know the exact reason why I would say…

Thank you

 Thank you… these two words that you throw everywhere when you had the chance. I would like to get the chance to say these to you back personally. If God would give me a minute with TVXQ… I could never say anything else…

Thank you, Yunho. The mighty selfless leader.

Thank you, Jaejoong. The emotional inspirator.

Thank you, Yoochun. The thoughtful crybaby.

Thank you, Junsu. The happy pill.

Thank you, Changmin. No other words needed. One and only Voldemin.

Thank you TVXQ. The red ocean cheers for you.

In what seemed like forever… Cassiopeia loving TVXQ for nine years. I want TVXQ to know that I haven’t forgotten about them. I remember seeing a clip of Jaejoong crying because they went to Japan for a long time, unable to meet Korean Cassies and Yunho worrying because a kid told him he doesn’t know TVXQ.

You don’t have to worry a lot because ever since I became a Cassiopeia, I have never forgotten a TVXQ that inspired me this much. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ who makes me laugh in my saddest moment. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ whose melodies can make my heart beat faster. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ to whom I am always thankful for. I have never forgotten a TVXQ that gave me a family called Cassiopeia.

Because I know that everywhere you go, you have never forgotten that there’s a Cassiopeia ready to go and back you up when the world seems like tearing apart.

By saying this… it reminds me of that first performance on this same day, 2003. Oh, the cute old times. Now, do you wanna ask me what’s the last thing I want TVXQ to know?

Oh, yeah… I want TVXQ to know that I have that video saved in my laptop! XD

No, no, no Junsu… you can’t deny the fact that you ALMOST made a mistake before that dance break. I have the evidence with me… and that cute hairflip by Changmin. Hey you! Don’t tell me you’re sexy and hot… I know your everytime-I-sing-I-smile past. XD Aaaah, it makes me wanna go and reminisce…

That beautiful little snow falling…

That heartwarming melody…

Those five cute boys dressed in black…

That signature left and right body swinging.

Those cute hand gestures and countless finger pointing everytime you sing…

And how Jaejoong stared at the camera with those little eyes!

Haha! You guys are so cute! :”>

Yeah, I can never forget that… Now look at me talking like an old lady. XD It’s been nine years since then.

I wish you guys to grow and learn more! God is always with you every step of the way. ❤

Happy 9^th anniversary, Dong Bang Shin Ki!

Singing is one thing… inspiring hearts is another… Indeed, the Lord dropped a glimpse of heaven in the form of you… TVXQ. ❤

PS. This is especially for Changmin.

I want you to know that I have my own life, okay!? I manage it and it’s my call when I want to spend most of my time for TVXQ. Look at you, telling me to get a life. WHY DON’T YOU GET OVER IT? Say it again. DO YOU WANNA DIE? Huh. And how would I get a boyfriend when you and your hyungs are messing up my standards? Oh, how on Earth!?

Another PS. Hey TVXQ and JYJ!

Why do you keep on releasing stuffs simultaneously? Sometimes even at the same month! DO YOU WANT US TO DIE OF HUNGER? Really? How about fusing it together and just make it one? 😀 Maybe even sharing the same concert stage would do, too. You know. 😉

Aish! Anyhow, Happy 9^th anniversary! 9 years!

TVXQ loving Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia loving TVXQ.

To each other, they’re the blooming flowers of spring, the bright shining sun during summer, the falling leaves during autumn and the piling snow every winter.

One that completes another.

Five positions that never change.

A bond that stays together.

A melody we would never exchange.

May we have another glorious year!

‘Til forever. ❤

Saranghae~

Happy 1 Year To Me!

I’m now a year-old bouncing baby Cassie. 🙂

Isn’t it nice? I may have a very busy schedule, I still have tons of things lined-up for me to do but THERE’S NO WAY that I’ll skip celebrating this precious happening in my life. ❤

Somehow, when I entered this fandom, I felt like a different person, like… I was born again. This may be childish to say and most probably, other persons around me wouldn’t understand, but I felt like Cassiopeia and most especially DBSK became my parents, my siblings.

Isn’t it heartwarming that I got five additional fathers who, even though doesn’t know me personally, still continues to inspire and make me a better person without themselves knowing… and thousands, no, a million Cassiopeia as my siblings who’re ready to stand up for me?

I may treat, care, worry and love DBSK as my sons… but in return, I have realized, they’ve been my fathers ever since I met them… teaching me countless lessons as each day passes, as each of them struggles to overcome their own obstacles, as each of them continue to face the future head-on.

Together with my so-called Daddys, I learned.

DBSK made me appreciative and thankful even for the small things, trust me. They made me think out of the box, and they are the ones who taught me how to freely express myself in words, though most of the time, words aren’t enough to say how wonderful I feel about being a Cassie.

DBSK made me see the beauty of friendship in a much deeper dimension. I am a solitary nature by person but ever since I became a Cassie, I became very active and even made friends not just on the Internet but personally, as well. I’ve met some Cassies who’re studying in the same university as mine and believe me, we felt like we’re long lost sisters!! :”) They now became my personal friends whom I talk to everyday, even if it’s about our everyday lives and problems.

There are so much more but this one’s my favorite… DBSK has given me motivation to move forward, courage to step up out of the crowd and the strength to face and endure hardships as I step closer to my dream. I’m a Med student and everyday the road keeps on getting rougher. And everytime I would felt like giving up, I ALWAYS remember Jaejoong. He constantly tells himself, “I need to become a singer.” As I imagine him, a tone-deaf person trying to make his way to become a known singer is something so moving. :”) Therefore I always tell myself, “I still need to become a doctor.”

Moreover, aside from all these things, DBSK sees to it that I also learn the hard part. I’m brave enough to say… that I have experienced the ups-and-down of being in this fandom, maybe not as much as those who’ve been a Cassie longer than me. I am never a spoiled child and that’s how DBSK makes a difference compared to other groups towards their own fandom.

DBSK were never “always” at the top, they have their own downfalls too and DBSK makes it sure that in every downfall, they are together with us. When the time comes for them to use all their mighty strength to get up, DBSK makes it sure that Cassiopeia stands up with them. I was taught about the importance of victory and most especially, the feeling of being sunken deep so that I will never make fun of other people who stumbled too.

They showed me… that life is never a bed full of roses, even for someone who is so famous like them.

DBSK is so much more than the pretty faces and beautiful voices. They shared to me every bit of them, even their souls and passion. It amazes me… that whenever they have the chance, they remind me of how much they love me and how grateful they are to have me. That it makes me question myself: “Do I have the guts to leave these boys’ side?”

In just a year… I can say that this is one of the best experiences I’ve had of being a Kpop fan and I sure am… that I will never dare to leave. They’ve taught me so many values, much more than what elementary school had taught me. DBSK has given me friends, has given me inspiration and courage to move forward.

Thank you DBSK… Thank you Yunho. Thank you Jaejoong. Thank you Yoochun. Thank you Junsu. Thank you Changmin and thank you my dear Cassiopeia. I’m grateful to have you guys in my life… :”)

I will continue on with this new life God has blessed upon me. I will cherish and continue to live on, not as a Kpop addict… because I was never one… but as a Cassiopeia who will continue chasing her dream as much as DBSK did. A Cassiopeia who will grow together with her boys… together with DBSK.

At first I thought I was the one protecting the fandom, that I was the one who need to hold on tighter to keep the faith stronger. It turned out that I’m wrong. They are the ones protecting me, they are the ones educating me and they are the ones who’re holding me tighter, making my faith stronger… because even if I have found many reasons to let go, I still find myself lost in their eyes.

I may not post often in this blog anymore. I’m quite busy… but don’t worry, in my heart, I will always be like this, one of the most emoshinki persons you must’ve known, a child who is sincerely loved by TVXQ and her fellow Cassies. :”)

HAPPY 1 YEAR TO ME! ❤

.

.

(Okay, the celebration is over, back to my Physics book. LOL)

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Anyways, I love you Cassies! You can forget my name and even my blog but ALWAYS REMEMBER that we’re very lucky that we’re blessed with such heavenly guys. ❤

That thought alone… is more than enough for us to be thankful for having TVXQ in our lives. :”)

-cassieforever-

Let’s Make Our Boys Proud…

Have you voted on MAMA yet??

Sadly, in every category our dear TVXQ is in, they are always lagging behind.

I know we CAN make this turn around…

Let’s make our boys proud! 😀

Everyday, let’s continue to vote for them and promote them, remind everyone to vote.

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

Let’s get our boys on top…

We are their pride and so… we must prove it.

Now, I don’t want to hear these phrases: “Why vote? We all know TVXQ is the best…”

“we all know TVXQ is the winner..”

blah blah blah

Yes! We all know.

But does other people know?

Maybe not.

So Yes! We WILL let them know.

We will let them know who the Gods of Kpop are…

We will let them know that Cassiopeia still has it’s glory…

We will let them know…

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

I’m calling you all,

let’s vote together!

Let’s win together! 😀

Make Yunho and Changmin proud…

Vote for them here:

http://mama.interest.me/visite?s=1351150345214

and as a congratulatory act, watch this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfUlE2LlGro

Don’t lose hope.

WE CAN.

and

WE WILL.

Together…

I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…

 

I fell in love with a guy I could never have.

We’re countries apart.

Our age gap is nine years. He’s even older than my sister.

We don’t even speak the same language.

And around millions of people in the world, it’s only a percent of probability that we could ever meet, without even talking.

He’s a guy who is successful in his own career…

a guy who knows how to cook…

a guy who doesn’t leave people behind…

a guy who knows the feeling of rejection…

a guy who is frank enough to say what he feels…

a guy who smiles and make everyone laugh, even deep inside, he’s hurting…

He is a guy who values people in his life.

Without even meeting him personally, without even having a single idea about his family background, without even knowing how intelligent he is, without even knowing what his eye color is, without even knowing his date of birth, without even knowing his type of girls, without even knowing his likes and dislikes, without even knowing how he thinks, and what his principles in life are, I fell in love with him.

I don’t know his family background, but I fell in love with him because I know that he loves them so much.

I don’t know how intelligent he is, but I fell in love with him because I know that whatever he does, he thinks about it carefully.

I don’t know what his eye color is, but I fell in love with him because I know that his eyes always speak what his heart really feels.

I don’t know his date of birth, but I fell in love with him because I know that he is God’s gift for everyone who knows him.

I don’t know his type of girls, but I fell in love with him because I know that he takes love as a serious thing and never sees it as something to be played at.

I don’t know his likes and dislikes, but I fell in love with him because I know that he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t and that he is proud of his own preferences.

I don’t know how he thinks and what his principles in life are, but I fell in love with him because I know that he thinks only for the common good, as he is a person molded by rejection and poverty.

We haven’t even met personally, but I fell in love with him because I felt something in him which I couldn’t explain.

In a single moment, my eyes see only him…

my mind could only think of him…

my mouth only speaks of him…

and my heart got stolen by him.

His face is something I could never pass a day without looking at.

His voice is something I could never forget how it sounded.

His laugh is the most remarkable one I have heard in my life.

His name is something my mind always remembers even if I am the busiest person on Earth.

He has become someone I could never live without.

He is a guy from the TV screen. Every time I would see him, it’s like I don’t want the time to end.

Every time I would hear his voice, it’s like the sound of angels, which could make me smile even in my darkest moment.

Every time I would see him with another girl, it feels like my whole world would shatter.

Every time I would see him kiss another girl, even if it’s because of his job, I could never tolerate that. I feel so furious, like he is my own. I feel cheated, like he knew about me.

I feel sad, disappointed, and heart-wrenched every time I would remember, that he is a guy whom I can only see on TV screen, a guy who doesn’t even have a single idea that I existed, a guy whom, even in my dreams, is still the farthest person to reach.

It feels so hard how I imagine the day would come when he falls in love with a girl, too. He has become my everything, my love. They say if you love someone, you have to set them free, and I guess, I am never exempted in that rule. As I am just a girl from the shadows, a girl in the crowd, a girl who is hiding behind the clouds, to which he would never hardly notice and take time to be with.

It’s so painful to realize the truth yet every time I see him, my heart spells the phrase I love you.

Every time I would see him smile, I am reminded that God has a reason why he showed me that man.

I am so happy and grateful because I fell in love with him.

My days have gotten so much brighter because I fell in love with him.

I cry endless tears and sadness because I fell in love with him.

Truly, I fell in love with a guy whom I could never live without yet the guy that I could never, ever have.

I fell in love with Kim Jaejoong ❤

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, so I really feel silly after writing this one. They say that the hardest thing in being a fangirl is to fall in love with her bias and I must say that it really isssssssssss. T.T

I’m lacking sleep, I don’t feel so good yet I’m here, with a realization that after being a Cassie for 10 months, I actually fell in love with my bias ❤

Like really! I wanted to scratch myself because of this oneeeee. -____- Honestly…

Recently, Jae released a photo of him kissing his baby niece in a the cheek right? Did you know that I was slightly jealous with that one?? For real! OMGSun, I may just tear myself apart. I’m totally arguing with myself right now. -.-

Please don’t bash me like I’m a complete idiot for falling in love with her bias, okay? Because I already know! XD

*sigh*

I just hope the best for the whole DBSK not between me and that guy above! I just might send him a hate letter… Oohhh, that sounds good. LOL, If ever I get on my mood, I’ll make a letter expressing how much I hate-love him. ❤

Goodnight guys! I need to catch up with sleep…

 

 

 

 

You Can Never Blame Cassiopeia…

OTHER FANS: I want to see oppa!

CASSIOPEIA: I want my boys to see the red ocean in my country :”)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being too proud of their boys.

You don’t know how they feel whenever DBSK dedicates an award for them or how touched they are whenever they hear the melodies that only DBSK can make. You don’t know how much DBSK is proud of Cassiopeia.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being overly excited when someone commented “who’s who?” in a DBSK video.

You don’t know how much happiness they feel when new people are taking interest in DBSK because it constantly reminds them that DBSK will never fade.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if sometimes they don’t open up their minds to things that would only hurt them.

Many people are saying false rumors about the boys yet Cassiopeia constantly ignores them.

You don’t know how much pain they’ve already been through and how many tears they’ve already shed. You don’t know how it feels when you look at your favorite group’s picture and remember nothing but bittersweet memories.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being very sensitive when someone opens up the topic about the lawsuit.

You don’t know how it feels like when you sleep with your wet pillow, uncertain about what news will come out tomorrow. You don’t know how heartbreaking to foresee the possibility that your favorite group would split.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re being too overprotective, sometimes selfish over their boys.

You don’t know how it feels when you knew that your favorite group is the one with the most crazy sasaengs in their own country. You don’t know how much worried they are when one of them are sick, in trouble or very tired.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they wanted to brag about the beautiful red ocean everywhere.

You don’t know how much strength they get when they see the beautiful legendary ocean of theirs. You don’t know how much of their pride is in there.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they cry their eyes out because of missing the boys.

You don’t know how much DBSK means to them. You don’t know how much love these Cassiopeians have for that five boys. You don’t know how unbreakable the bond of Cassiopeia and DBSK is.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they say that they only have DBSK in their eyes.

You don’t know how perfect DBSK is in their eyes. You don’t know that Jaejoong warned them not to cheat on DBSK (XD).

You can never blame Cassiopeia when they call themselves ‘family’ instead of a ‘fandom’.

You don’t know how many times they get their strength from their fellow Cassiopeians. You don’t know how big their smile is whenever they get to talk with a fellow Cassie. You don’t know how it feels when the reason you’re holding on is because of them.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they shout that they love DBSK every minute, everywhere.

You don’t know how many times DBSK mentioned and shouted how much each of them loves Cassiopeia. You don’t know how it feels when DBSK says that they are nothing without you.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they’re saying their slogan “Always keep the faith” everywhere.

You don’t know how it feels when you’re holding onto something that’s so little that all you got to do is to hold on tighter. You don’t know how it feels when the future is unknown and that you have to constantly remind yourself to keep your faith.

You can never blame Cassiopeia if they feel like they’re the strongest family out there.

You don’t know every bit of pain they felt. You don’t know the details, you don’t know. You don’t know how much tears they’re already shed yet still continue to smile. You don’t know how it feels when you hurt too much that you could only give up yet they still continue to stand up and hope. You don’t know how many downfalls and heartbreaks they’ve experienced yet they still continue to keep the faith.

and you can never blame me, a Cassiopeia, for posting this.

You don’t know how it feels when some Kpop fan blames your family for being oversensitive persons or blaming and accusing them for being too boastful and stuffs. You don’t know how it feels when someone who is ignorant about everything tries to badmouth someone very superior.

I stand up for my fandom and family and that’s all that matters.

You don’t know anything so stop blaming… stop accusing…

You can never blame Cassiopeia because you don’t know a thing this family has been into. Just because their boys aren’t together to protect them, you cannot blame them. You can never accuse of them of being anything. In fact, they’re pretty much the most patient fandom there is. The most loyal and faithful, I must say ❤

Respect them. Empathize with them first before you say anything because by just showing you a picture of the red ocean, all you can do is walk away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

and hey! I was just following what our dear Jaejoongie told us:

“Cassiopeia, show that you’re undefeated.”

-cassieFOREVER-

When I Became Older…

I’ve written this while listening to Music Box versions of DBSK’s songs… :”)

It just came to my mind… how would I be if I get older?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling at the things that would remind me of my fangirling days…

Red balloons…

stars…

letter W…

number 5…

the word ‘faith’…

Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be smiling unconsciously seeing an animal that I have always associated with them…

Rhinoceros… Elephants… Dolphins… Ducks… Rabbits… Deer…

My kids would probably ask Mommy why is she fond of taking these animals’ pictures while we are strolling around the zoo…

or why does Mommy is overly jealous with a random cat who crossed the street especially with the gray ones…

When I became older…

I’d probably be laughing remembering how I force myself to learn their hard choreography…

I bet I’d be boasting my kids how their mommy is a very good dancer during her teenage years…

I’d probably be tearing up remembering how dedicated I am to my boys… and how many dorky and random things I’ve done just for them…

That I once nearly crashed the mouse just because I wanted Yunho to win on allkpop poll…

That I once literally jumped out of happiness inside a department store just because I saw a Tohoshinki album…

That I slept with my wet pillow numerous nights already…

That I told my whole family that Jaejoong is in a relationship with me…

That I once felt my blood boiled in anger reading that blogsite which I now hate, hate, hate…

That I’m once a trying hard Korean-speaker wanna be and tweets JYJ with senseless things…

That I became a wise money spender just because I want to buy an album…

That I stayed up late at nights just to wait for the release of a new song…

That I always have this weird dreams about them…

That I always laugh in front of my laptop because I was replacing DBSK song titles with weird words…

That I actually visited an Anti site just to understand their reasons why they hate DBSK…

That I have a hard drive full of their videos only…

That I registered myself in a Homin stan site just to download videos to add in my collection…

That I have written stories about me and Jaejoong or whoever member I want to pair myself up with…

That I once filled a glass bottle with little red paper stars which contains reasons why I love DBSK…

That I never forget to thank God for introducing me DBSK…

And then I’d probably laugh hard remembering how I disliked DBSK at first…

How I ignored them for years…

How I used to turn off that television whenever TVXQ or JYJ is in…

And how suddenly, after searching mirotic in youtube, in just an hour… the magical story began…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be reminiscing how I fell in love with my boys…

Yeah, I’d probably still be calling them my boys…

Even if they’re older than me… or even if they have their own families already…

Because even if I became a mother, I would never forget how I felt like I’m the one who took care of DBSK…

The dates that are so meaningful to me will always be remembered…

January 26, February 6, February 18, June 4, December 15, December 26…

It will always be significant that my kids would probably go on wondering why does Mommy buys a cake even though there’s no particular event…

I’d probably be laughing because those were the dates where I would open my blog and type away my super long birthday greeting which I don’t know if it could personally reach them…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be humming to their songs whenever I’m bored…

I’d probably have my garden covered with plants bearing red or white flowers…

I’d probably still be listening to their capellas to make myself sleep…

When people ask me of my favorite songs, I’d probably still be citing DBSK songs…

Their ballads will still be my source of strength…

Their happy songs will still be my source of smile…

Their faces will still be the source of my heart fluttering…

Their smiles will still be the source of my heart’s tears…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be smiling proudly whenever I hear or read their names or even phrases that I associated with them…

My kids would probably go wondering why I answered Jaejoong when they ask me who my favorite Hero is…

Or wonder why Mommy smiles like a fool do whenever they tell a story about Micky Mouse…

Or thinks why Mommy suddenly laughs when they tell that they’re hungry, tired or having a headache…

When I become older…

I’d probably still be pausing for seconds before I answer someone who asks me ‘What time is it?’

I’d probably laugh at myself for shipping couples like YunJae, YooSu and MinFood because I’d probably reminisce at how happy I am while spazzing with my fellow Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be boasting to my kids that I have friends all over the world, which I can trust…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling myself realizing how silly I was remembering the times I go crybaby just because I saw a member with another girl…

Then I’d probably laugh at myself because at that time, I felt it was okay if he’d be hugging another member instead.

I will remember how much laughter their dorky moments gave me…

This time, instead of laughing, I’d probably be crying… just because I miss the days…

When I became older…

My husband would probably understand me why I’d be smiling on space while I watch my kids go on a pillow fight or whenever they wear animal clothes…

I will always remember how mad I was at SM Entertainment…

I’d probably be smiling over embarrassment just because I can still remember how I was eager to kill a man together with a thousand more Cassies…

Buying bazookas, loading rifles, sharpening knives… I’d probably laugh at these things…

I will remember how I’d go crazy just seeing one of the members tweet…

And then I’d probably laugh remembering how I know that my Tlist would explode just because of that one tweet…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be feeling jealous to that Cassie that Jaejoong followed accidentally…

Or to that Cassie that Changmin has sung ‘Just The Way U Are’ to…

I’d probably go and search the world just to take a picture with the red phone booth as my background…

I’d probably smile while walking inside an oceanarium because I can imagine my boys in there just like their Mirotic concert intro movie…

My kids would probably be wondering why I am laughing when they say ‘Bonjour’

They would probably ask Mommy why she’s fond of things that are colored red…

Or asks why Mommy takes home a red balloon after attending a kid’s party…

When I became older…

 I’d probably be telling my kids my wonderful experience of being a Cassiopeia…

I’d probably be smiling at my kids while they wonder what did DBSK done to their mommy for making her love them so much…

I’d probably be telling stories about my boys rather than my own story…

My friends would probably look at me with questioning glares when they suddenly talk about their childhood favorites and mentions Final Fantasy and I laughed hysterically…

When I became older…

I’d probably still be saying ‘Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum Dimsum’ whenever I see one…

My husband would probably understand me best when I face the mirror and force myself to have mismatched eyes…

I’d probably still want to spell TVXQ in the sand whenever my family would go on a trip on beaches…

My kids would probably laugh at Mommy for buying red light sticks which are supposed to be kids’ toys…

They would probably ask Mommy why she puts on five dots on every last page of their notebooks…

Or laugh at her whenever she exclaims ‘Oh My God Sun’

They would probably wonder why Mommy’s friends’ call her ‘Cassie’ or why Mommy does named their sister as ‘Cassie’

I’d probably laugh when one of my kids ask why I got five dogs named ‘Hero, U-Know, Max, Micky and Xiah’

Or asks why I go mad when they can’t spell Tong Vfang Xien Qi right.

When I became older…

I’d probably be speaking in fluent Korean and Japanese already…

I’d probably want to take a picture with the Eiffel Tower and at the Grand Canyon…

I’d probably tear up while looking at the night sky… while feelings of my Cassie self is pouring in…

I’d probably be watching DBSK concerts whenever I have the time…

This time… with my husband…

This time… with my kids…

This time… as a grown-up Cassie…

Whom her heart always remembers everything she went through as a fangirl…

That God can only tell how far this woman will go for DBSK…

And how much she loves them like her own children…

When I became older…

I’d probably be smiling my most beautiful smile… realizing that I will always be a Cassiopeia by heart and that all these memories and moments that only Cassies and TVXQ themselves can understand will always be treasured. ❤

Cassiopeia: To Whom The Name Rightfully Belongs…

NOTE: This is entirely my opinion about the matter. No bashing, I love TVXQ, I am a Cassiopeia.

So, for those who do not know… Cassiopeia, the name of a constellation is currently the name of TVXQ fans since 2003 given by one of the group members, Shim Changmin.

Because of the group split, having three TVXQ members in a new group called JYJ and the two remaining members continuing in the name of TVXQ, fans have been fighting all over the Internet as to who should be rightfully called as Cassiopeia.

So… let’s see. There are fans since pre-lawsuit who still supports the five members and hoping for them to comeback. They are nicknamed as OT5s too.

There are fans since pre-lawsuit who chose to support only JYJ now.

There are fans since pre-lawsuit who chose to support only the TVXQ duo now.

There are new fans of JYJ.

There are new fans of TVXQ.

So, who among these gets to use the legendary name “Cassiopeia?”

Of course, the OT5s have the rights to call themselves one as first and foremost, Cassiopeia is the name given since 2003 with TVXQ as a five-membered group. You can’t expect them to just throw away the name and call themselves Cassies only for the duo and JYJ fans for the trio. Well, we should at least pay them some respect. Out of all the fans I have mentioned, they are the ones who suffered a lot, and even now, some are still in pain.

The fans since pre-lawsuit who chose to support only JYJ is not rightful to be called a Cassiopeia. They are supporting another group now, which is not TVXQ, therefore, they should be called as JYJ fans instead. They are now JYJ fans from Cassiopeia.

The fans since pre-lawsuit who chose to support only the TVXQ duo now are still called Cassiopeia. They are still following the group TVXQ, therefore, they’re still Cassiopeia. No matter how bitter that may sound to their fellow pre-lawsuit Cassies who supports the five, that’s just how it is.

The new fans of the trio, JYJ. Clearly, they are not calling themselves Cassies so… Yeah, they’re quiet in these type of situation.

The new fans of the duo, TVXQ. Yes, of course, they are still Cassies. As I have said, Cassiopeia is the fanclub name for TVXQ. Some OT5s… please stop bashing them, saying that the name Cassiopeia has five stars therefore they should support the other three too. These new Cassies knew TVXQ as a duo therefore they love the two. How can you expect them to love the other three when they are not there when they decided to call themselves a Cassie? And to some duo fans… please stop bashing the OT5s. They are just merely hoping and believing, how wrong is that to you? They still have the right to the name Cassiopeia clearly because they are already there when you’re still not.

I’m an OT5 myself and it hurts me so much how I am not allowed to mention something about the past or something about missing them as five under a TVXQ duo video. We’re not saying things like “this would be better if the other three members are included too” but instead we’re just saying we just badly missed them.

Okay, I’m not going to rant. I’m going off-topic now because of this but I wanted to add this little fact.

Acknowledgement is what I ask of you, TVXQ duo fans. Cassiopeia is a constellation made of five stars given for a group with five members. There may only be two now and there may be two brightest stars in the said constellation but remember, the other three stars are still there. Just like how adults were once a kid, let us respect that TVXQ was once a five-member group and that there are people who loves those five together. They may not be where they are right now if it weren’t for the work of the five of them together.

Now, let me just say… We are not competing fandoms here. We are one. We both support Yunho and Changmin; we both support and love TVXQ; we are both their Cassiopeia. I want you all to know that there may be differences but we can settle it down, right? As a tiny drop of the beautiful red ocean, I think this is the least thing I could do… I don’t want to see a bunch of red seas but rather, a big beautiful red ocean which we once had.

Let’s bring the peace back again and make new beautiful memories together…

not as OT5 fans… not as Homin fans…

but as the legendary Cassiopeia.

I think I have made myself clear here. This is purely my opinion about to whom the name Cassiopeia rightfully belongs.

Traveling with Dong Bang Shin Ki

Silently gazing at the clouds, I could still remember the day I first saw you. I could still recall how you smile at me, how you wave at me, how you wait for me to come to you.
I close my eyes against the glare of the sun, wishing that if I open them again, I would see the five of you just like how I first saw you. The youthful smiles, the innocent faces, and the happy souls you’ve always been.

After a while’s rest, I started walking down the unfamiliar path, and while with you… I unknowingly fell in love with the miracle the five of you has created. You became my source of strength and the reason behind my smiles. Yes, I can still clearly remember and right now…

You fill my heart yet again.

I wanted to express how touched I was when the morning sun rose and you came in my thoughts. It feels like you’re greeting me firsthand in the morning and I feel so happy about it.

All the old times merged together forming today, I still can’t believe how much you changed my life. I can still feel the happiness the moment I saw you, the gladness and immeasurable joy you have given me and all the times we became as one in spirit.

Years have passed but up until now… undoubtedly, my heart is filled with you.

I wonder, if I walked on the sea, will I be able to reach you? It seems like you’re so near yet so far. It seems like you are now something at the far end of the horizon. The five of you… if I travel outside the borderlines, will I see you together once again?

If we meet, I’d give you my whole heart. I wanted to share to you my joy, my happiness. I wanted you to know how much you’ve done in my life. I wanted to thank and repay you with everything I have. I wanted to hug you and make you feel that in return, I will always be here for you.

And somehow, if I meet you by chance along that path… please acknowledge me. A simple greeting that would signify everything… that there’s still you… that there’s still me… that there’s still we.

It feels like magic… I can’t believe, that out of millions of people I managed to see you coincidentally, to know you by choice and to fall in love with the five of you by chance.

I am afraid… that I won’t get the chance even just to have a glance at you… your smile, your eyes, your face… A glance at the persons who made me the way I am right now. I know, we are oceans and countries apart…

but if I go against the forgotten time… Will I be able to see you before I’m reborn?

If I walked on the sea, will I be able to reach you? Yes… I do believe we will see each other… for you’ve taught me to believe, to hope and to always keep the faith for the five of you.

If we meet, I’d give you my whole heart. If I meet you by chance along that path… please acknowledge me. I know you will, because never once… did you ignore someone like me. Never once did you forget that there is Cassiopeia behind you. Never once, did we part… we are always one.

If I reached the ends of the skies, will I be able to communicate with you?

If I meet you, I’ll tell you everything in my heart. I’ll tell you that I’ll always hope for the best outcome and that I will always support you in whatever decision you’ll make even if the reason can’t be shared with me.

And just like a clear dream… I would always wish for that moment to come. The day the five of you would walk down again the once unfamiliar path for both of us.

And I’ll assure you… that when you walk down that path again… I’ll be there on the other end. I’ll be the one who’s smiling at you. I’ll be the one who’s waiting for you… I’ll be the one who’ll wave at you… I’ll be the one who’ll be your source of strength, the reason of your smile. I’ll become something you once are to me.

I want to be with you in the near future. ‘Til then and forever… I will always be here for you… My heart will always be traveling with yours.

I’ll always be your guiding light, your brightest star, Cassiopeia.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Happy Birthday Park Yoochun! ❤

I really loved the song Yeo Haeng Gi, unexplainable feelings, I’m deeply touched with the song ❤

Memories: I’ll Stand By U

I fell in love with a sweet memory and I don’t want to go back in the present just yet.

I saw someone in Youtube said this to a troll: “We’ve already lost the group. Let us enjoy what we have left. Don’t make us anymore upset.”

It was like a big slap of reality in the face. It’s embarrassing to say but I teared up after reading that comment. It made me stop a little and say, “Reality sucks.” I am living in the past, having only the five in you in my thoughts, watching the shows the five of you went in, listening to the music the five of you made, and keeping the faith with all the people who knows only the five of you. It made me forget about the reality I am living in. It made me a person living in nothing but mere beautiful memories.

Memories that made me cry… Memories that are so painful… Memories that are so heartbreaking… yet they are the memories I just couldn’t let go… because…

Those memories have inspired me in life; I learned to dream and soar high from it.

Those memories made me see the beauty of friendship; I learned how to value relationships more than my own ego.

Those memories gave me a family; It made me become a more open and socially active person.

Those memories made me smile; It made a more cheerful person than I was before.

Those memories made me laugh; They made me strong even in my weakest point.

Those memories taught me a lot of things; too much that I don’t know how to enumerate them.

Those memories gave me light; It made me see the beauty of life.

Those memories mean so much to me… that it became a permanent part of me already.

Yes, it is in these bittersweet memories where I would always come back. I don’t want to go back to reality just yet. The beautiful memory of the five of you is always holding me back. Even though it can bring tears and heartaches, I would never give it up for something else. And when the time I finally decide to go back to reality, I am hoping that those five persons will stand on stage as one, with smiles on their faces as they say “Thank you for waiting on us, Cassiopeia.” 

I may have forgotten the reality; that there are only two and three. Some may say I’m delusional; that they will not be coming back.

But I can’t let go… because I know that it’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen; but it’s even harder to give up when you know it’s everything you want.

Now Playing: Love Is Never Gone :”(