Tag Archive | cassiopeia

Cassiopeia’s Precious Day!

tumblr_mbwmgz3SJB1qh1a0yo1_r1_500

Because in this same day, 7 years ago… our one and only Shim Changmin, our Voldemin, became a loving parent to us… Giving us one of the most important thing to a person.

A name.

tvxq-cassiopeia_design

And here we are, bearing the most beautiful name we know, Cassiopeia.

In this name we took pride.
In this name we became one.
In this name our boys says thank you.
In this name our boys says I love you.

You are one of the most precious persons our boys have known.
Because in this name, we became a legend.
And in this same name, we will always stay together.

ca6d8538f8aaa0_full

Despite being in a fandom that is known as the strongest, a fandom that is known as the largest, there so many hardships around that only us can bear, only us know and only us feel.
Many people are bashing us left and right… what hurts the most is when the one doing it bears the same name.
So what if they call you delusional? Tell them, “Hell yeah, there are a million delusionals all over the world. Wanna join?” with your pretty smiling face, as a cherry on top! ❤

There is saying, “You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

I beg to differ.

images
Why… even if it’s not funny, I keep on laughing at Junsu’s oyaji gags even if I’ve watched it a hundred times already?

untitled
Why… do I still laugh everytime I watch DBSK dancing that dance for the grandmothers during Over The Mountain?

untitled2
Why… do I find it hilarious everytime I watch them fail on chopping logs?

tumblr_li838x1gqD1qcyceuo1_250

Why… do I still laugh at Changmin banging his head on the gong?

726230959 (1)

Why… do I still laugh with the same Chunface again and again?

Why… do I laugh everytime?

I can laugh at any DBSK joke again and again and I don’t know why… but I’m sure there are a whole lot others having the same case as mine.
“But why do I keep crying over the same thing again and again?”

That’s right. Why?
Because I love them?
Because it hurts so much?
Because they’re not together?

or because I love them so much that it hurts to see them not together?

I’m telling you right now. It’s okay to cry. Release it all.
You can unleash the pure hearted Cassiopeia inside you right now.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who cries tears that have so much meaning.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who smiles at little things.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia who laughs everytime their boys do.
Unleash the childish Cassiopeia within you that loves without limits…

So, to you who is hurting.
To you who is laughing.
To you who is smiling.
To you who is crying.
and to you… who is waiting.

remember that I’m always here too.
Beside you hurting.
Beside you laughing.
Beside you smiling.
Beside you crying.
And beside you… waiting.

And if you feel that no one understands you… remember me. Remember the name you bear. Remember Cassiopeia.
Because it doesn’t matter which language you spoke…
We can understand every bit of what you feel right now. We’re the ones who understand you best.

419656_235849289837574_100002375131591_493218_1989487014_n
Because we’re more than just a shining constellation in the Northern sky.
We are a part of each other. We’re always with you… inside your heart.

Lastly, I want you all to be happy. I want us to be happy… and accepting what happened is a part of it.
We’re not gonna let go and especially not gonna forget.
Because everything, every memory has became a part of who we are. Acceptance is what matters most.
Acceptance to me… is very hard. But I’m doing my best at it… and someday, I’m looking forward to seeing those old memories without getting all bitter about it.
So let’s cheer on our five boys along the way!

18622_491059934262276_128138589_n

Dong Bang Shin Ki, TVXQ, JYJ, down to Jaejoong, Yunho, Yoochun, Junsu and Changmin.

And to you… who is celebrating your very own birthday. Be proud… There is no one like us.
There is no one like us… Us who tries our hardest to understand and accept a situation we never really wanted to happen.
And that’s what makes us so precious.
Because out of so many…
We’re the ones who stayed.

Happy Birthday, fellow Cassie!

May we have another year filled with happiness as wide as Yoochun’s forehead, joy as big as Junsu’s butt, smiles as beautiful as Jaejoong’s, and love…
So much love that it can reciprocate Changmin’s love for his food.
And where’s leader-shi? Oh forget it. He’s still sleeping.

Happy Birthday once again, Cassiopeia~
7 years and still shining. Cheers!

383103_194580167302083_100002503028999_363852_786592971_n

Always keep the faith. A word with five precious letters guided by the love of God. 🙂

Dong Bang Shin Ki (196)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It’ been a long time since I posted.

I missed you all~

:”>

9 Years of Loving TVXQ

This morning when I opened twitter, I saw cheesy lines being thrown everywhere by my T-list and then I wondered, what’s happening? And then I saw them trending…

images

Dun

13178279

Dun

409628_122813811170021_100003242089649_121214_1292929711_n

DUN

YC_lol

DUN!

Oh My God Sun!

How could I not prepare for this special day!?

I guess I’m really busy… I haven’t had time to prepare nor the time to join the trending. 😦

I guess I would just be participating in the last hashtag later on…

Last anniversary, I remember compiling their song lyrics and making it my message but for now, I’m going to make something quick and straight from the heart…

9 things I want TVXQ to know…

More specifically, 9 Things I want to say to TVXQ this anniversary…

There are so many things a Cassie like me wants to convey for their “more precious than gems” TVXQ so I’ll just go and start off by saying, “Fighting!”

tumblr_lh6fqg6HAN1qbvvtoo1_400

I want TVXQ to know that every little thing they do… is MAGIC! XD LOL, just kidding. But, what I’m saying is… every little thing they do, every song they release is always appreciated. I may be disappointed at times… but I never disregard your hardwork.

Keep up the good work!

May it be the best song of the year, or even the worst song of the century! Just remember for sure, I’ll always be with you… Even if everyone has turned their backs on you, I will always be there beside you, looking over with a proud smile saying, “Fighting!”

Never give up… for I have never made plans on giving up on you, either.

grouphug2006win

With that said, I want you to know that you’re always the best for me.

It doesn’t matter whether you have hairstyles from the Tri-Angle days or if all of you have the crazy unique bowl cut Yoochun has during Mirotic or whether you color your hairs like weird ice creams, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you have your accent while speaking Korean or if you can’t speak straight English or you look like an idiot for singing songs you never understand, it doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter if you slipped on the stage, sang the wrong lyrics, dropped your mic on-stage, you cracked your voice while singing or even wearing off your shoes in the middle of a performance, it doesn’t matter.

As long as you’re TVXQ.

As long as you stay as Jung Yunho who can’t hide his Jeollado accent,

Kim Jaejoong who colors his hair like a cheese-flavored ice cream,

Park Yoochun who tries on any hairstyle, may it be curly long hair or that crazy half-bowl cut,

Kim Junsu who tries his hardest to speak English fully and clearly and;

Shim Changmin who once slept on the stage.

tumblr_la5jgj92nl1qav8v0o1_500

I don’t want you to change… because the next thing I want you to know… just like what Bruno Mars say…I love you just the way you are.

That’s what makes you special.

Cassies loves you together with all your flaws and weaknesses, together with all the shortcomings and hindrances, together with all the mistakes you’ve done because in our eyes you are something special…

396771_413297295405570_150197284_n

And if we can wish for another lifetime, we would still wish to be your Cassiopeia. A Cassiopeia who understands. A Cassiopeia who cares. A Cassiopeia with an open heart to love every little thing about you…

cassiopeia

Because you know what?

TVXQ… you’re every little bit of Cassiopeia. :”>

And if you would ask me… I want you to know that I would never choose to fall in love with you any other way.

The fact that I’ve ignored you for years before falling head over heels in love with you… the fact that I became a Cassie after the lawsuit… the fact that I belonged to other fandoms first before coming in here… I realized that I don’t regret any of it…

All the tears

All the laughter

All the memories

All the heartaches

Because that’s what makes me what I am right now.

It may seem like liking you makes me an oldschool teenager in the eyes of another… but I have never once regret the fact that I loved a band that for other people, seemed to exist centuries ago.

DBSK hug 1

And with that I want you to know that I also don’t want my dear TVXQ to regret anything they’ve done and decided so far.

It’s what makes you now.

You may have chosen the wrong path or made wrong decisions in your life and in your career but I want you to know that I, as a Cassiopeia, accepts everything of it and I don’t want you to sulk in your room and regret any of it.

Jaejoong unable to do the Rising Sun promotions because of his leg… No, Jae, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yunho says sorry because of the hiatus… No, Yunho, I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Yoochun crying because he was sorry for leaving his brother behind… We all know the reason why you have to. I don’t want you to regret it. It’s okay.

Junsu crying while singing W. I knew exactly the reason why, Junsu. Don’t regret it. It’s okay.

Changmin ate all the food in the fridge.

.

.

.

YOU SNEAKY YOUNG MAN! WHY DID YOU EAT IT ALL? WHAT ABOUT YOUR HYUNGS, DO YOU WANT THEM TO DIE OF HUNGER HUH!? JUST HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU DONE IT THROUGHOUT ALL THESE NINE YEARS?

But yeah… I don’t you to regret it. It’s okay.

I know your relationship with food. It’s a part of being “you.”

We’re clear, right? 😀 I don’t want you to lose your time and sanity trying to regret and sulk about a mistake, okay? It’s how we learn, it’s how people grow up. Plus, we only live once. And who knows? Maybe if you’ve done a different thing in the past, I wouldn’t have met you. That would be so frustrating, I guess. So, I’m thankful and you should too! Arasso? 😀

Now the fourth thing I want you to know… It may be a clichéd line already but…

You… TVXQ… I know you already know this but I want to say it to you again.

You have changed my life.

No wonder I’m weird. XD LOL, just kidding.

But… seriously, I could not ask for more… I want to continue like this, you being my TVXQ, me being your Cassiopeia, we… changing lives of one another. An exact piece of puzzle to one another…

To the extent that you can say…

TVXQ would never be here without Cassiopeia. ❤

And to the extent that I can say…

I would never be the same without TVXQ. :”>

With all these overflowing emotions… I want you to know that I’m very thankful.

Two words that could suffice for everything you’ve done for me, two words that contains all my heart, two words that needs no more explanation after being said…

TVXQ… I know… that you would know the exact reason why I would say…

Thank you

tumblr_lu5g7l3K2e1qcnptb

 Thank you… these two words that you throw everywhere when you had the chance. I would like to get the chance to say these to you back personally. If God would give me a minute with TVXQ… I could never say anything else…

61677_492149904153279_1572681798_n

Thank you, Yunho. The mighty selfless leader.

kimjaejoong

Thank you, Jaejoong. The emotional inspirator.

14483_502249713131848_1455060051_n

Thank you, Yoochun. The thoughtful crybaby.

560942_3402890961371_1072600647_n

Thank you, Junsu. The happy pill.

tumblr_m86ee4I45K1r1egvq

Thank you, Changmin. No other words needed. One and only Voldemin.

533024_385591004813439_1001685838_n

Thank you TVXQ. The red ocean cheers for you.

In what seemed like forever… Cassiopeia loving TVXQ for nine years. I want TVXQ to know that I haven’t forgotten about them. I remember seeing a clip of Jaejoong crying because they went to Japan for a long time, unable to meet Korean Cassies and Yunho worrying because a kid told him he doesn’t know TVXQ.

You don’t have to worry a lot because ever since I became a Cassiopeia, I have never forgotten a TVXQ that inspired me this much. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ who makes me laugh in my saddest moment. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ whose melodies can make my heart beat faster. I have never forgotten that there’s a TVXQ to whom I am always thankful for. I have never forgotten a TVXQ that gave me a family called Cassiopeia.

18622_491059934262276_128138589_n

Because I know that everywhere you go, you have never forgotten that there’s a Cassiopeia ready to go and back you up when the world seems like tearing apart.

By saying this… it reminds me of that first performance on this same day, 2003. Oh, the cute old times. Now, do you wanna ask me what’s the last thing I want TVXQ to know?

Oh, yeah… I want TVXQ to know that I have that video saved in my laptop! XD

mqdefault

No, no, no Junsu… you can’t deny the fact that you ALMOST made a mistake before that dance break. I have the evidence with me… and that cute hairflip by Changmin. Hey you! Don’t tell me you’re sexy and hot… I know your everytime-I-sing-I-smile past. XD Aaaah, it makes me wanna go and reminisce…

That beautiful little snow falling…

That heartwarming melody…

Those five cute boys dressed in black…

That signature left and right body swinging.

Those cute hand gestures and countless finger pointing everytime you sing…

And how Jaejoong stared at the camera with those little eyes!

Haha! You guys are so cute! :”>

dbsk-63

Yeah, I can never forget that… Now look at me talking like an old lady. XD It’s been nine years since then.

I wish you guys to grow and learn more! God is always with you every step of the way. ❤

Happy 9th anniversary, Dong Bang Shin Ki!

Singing is one thing… inspiring hearts is another… Indeed, the Lord dropped a glimpse of heaven in the form of you… TVXQ. ❤

185

PS. This is especially for Changmin.

I want you to know that I have my own life, okay!? I manage it and it’s my call when I want to spend most of my time for TVXQ. Look at you, telling me to get a life. WHY DON’T YOU GET OVER IT? Say it again. DO YOU WANNA DIE? Huh. And how would I get a boyfriend when you and your hyungs are messing up my standards? Oh, how on Earth!?

Another PS. Hey TVXQ and JYJ!

Why do you keep on releasing stuffs simultaneously? Sometimes even at the same month! DO YOU WANT US TO DIE OF HUNGER? Really? How about fusing it together and just make it one? 😀 Maybe even sharing the same concert stage would do, too. You know. 😉

Aish! Anyhow, Happy 9th anniversary! 9 years!

177580951.jpg

TVXQ loving Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia loving TVXQ.

To each other, they’re the blooming flowers of spring, the bright shining sun during summer, the falling leaves during autumn and the piling snow every winter.

One that completes another.

Five positions that never change.

A bond that stays together.

A melody we would never exchange.

May we have another glorious year!

375332_567521196594695_1404574407_n

‘Til forever. ❤

Saranghae~

Please Tell Me… When?

I don’t know why…

but suddenly, I felt exceptionally sad after hearing The Boy’s Letter in my playlist that it actually made me cry… :”(

It made me stop, look back and think…

What is going on Cassiopeia right now?

How is TVXQ doing?

and stuffs like that.

tumblr_megw0bkAgz1rxvrtpo1_500

Yunho and Changmin are doing so well with their song, Catch Me and the recent one, Humanoids…

313730678

JYJ are preparing for their album, each are having solo activities and are also doing great too…

cass

Cassiopeia, smiling brightly, as each day passes…

Seasons changing so fast…

747_4776084527574_617339977_n

9th anniversary is approaching soon.

But why do I feel like I’m still stuck on the same ground? 😦

I told myself for countless times, “I have moved on. I will not cry anymore. I will be happy and smile for the both of them.”

But… why… in the midst of doing my scientific paper… did I cry by hearing JYJ’s song “The Boy’s Letter?”

I’ve been a year-old Cassie already… but why is it that I’m still like this?

Ahhh, I thought I’ve become mature with this thing but I realized…

I still haven’t changed a bit.

I’m still that childish Cassie who can’t totally accept the reality she is in.

I’m still that crybaby Cassie who still wishes the same things.

Yeah, I admit… I’m still not used to it. 😦

I’m not used to thinking TVXQ has split up. 

Whenever I’m reminded about the disbandment, my heart just…

B R E A K S </3

I admit… I want a comeback so badly…

I want TVXQ to make a comeback and show who they are to those new Kpop fans who bash them…

I want TVXQ to make a comeback and stand before Cassiopeia once more…

I want TVXQ to come back… because I felt like the existence of TVXQ having 5 members is slowly fading…

Honestly… I think a time will come, where DB5K will only be alive in the memories of a Cassie and the members itself.

Nothing more…

Nothing less…

396771_413297295405570_150197284_n

Christmas is nearing… if only Santa would grant my wish

 I want to see TVXQ together… so bad… even just once more atleast.

It’s been a while since I last shed tears just because I miss DBSK…

and suddenly, all of the pain and longing is flooding back.

Every bit of it.

and it hurts to say this but I admit…

No matter how many times I begged even for the friendship to remain, at least… I still find myself wanting this wish to really happen…

And it’s killing me to know that right now,

It’s the next thing to impossible.

So, tell me… when?

Because I know… no matter how long… I won’t be used to it… 

T___________T

Happy 1 Year To Me!

I’m now a year-old bouncing baby Cassie. 🙂

Isn’t it nice? I may have a very busy schedule, I still have tons of things lined-up for me to do but THERE’S NO WAY that I’ll skip celebrating this precious happening in my life. ❤

Somehow, when I entered this fandom, I felt like a different person, like… I was born again. This may be childish to say and most probably, other persons around me wouldn’t understand, but I felt like Cassiopeia and most especially DBSK became my parents, my siblings.

Isn’t it heartwarming that I got five additional fathers who, even though doesn’t know me personally, still continues to inspire and make me a better person without themselves knowing… and thousands, no, a million Cassiopeia as my siblings who’re ready to stand up for me?

I may treat, care, worry and love DBSK as my sons… but in return, I have realized, they’ve been my fathers ever since I met them… teaching me countless lessons as each day passes, as each of them struggles to overcome their own obstacles, as each of them continue to face the future head-on.

Together with my so-called Daddys, I learned.

DBSK made me appreciative and thankful even for the small things, trust me. They made me think out of the box, and they are the ones who taught me how to freely express myself in words, though most of the time, words aren’t enough to say how wonderful I feel about being a Cassie.

DBSK made me see the beauty of friendship in a much deeper dimension. I am a solitary nature by person but ever since I became a Cassie, I became very active and even made friends not just on the Internet but personally, as well. I’ve met some Cassies who’re studying in the same university as mine and believe me, we felt like we’re long lost sisters!! :”) They now became my personal friends whom I talk to everyday, even if it’s about our everyday lives and problems.

There are so much more but this one’s my favorite… DBSK has given me motivation to move forward, courage to step up out of the crowd and the strength to face and endure hardships as I step closer to my dream. I’m a Med student and everyday the road keeps on getting rougher. And everytime I would felt like giving up, I ALWAYS remember Jaejoong. He constantly tells himself, “I need to become a singer.” As I imagine him, a tone-deaf person trying to make his way to become a known singer is something so moving. :”) Therefore I always tell myself, “I still need to become a doctor.”

Moreover, aside from all these things, DBSK sees to it that I also learn the hard part. I’m brave enough to say… that I have experienced the ups-and-down of being in this fandom, maybe not as much as those who’ve been a Cassie longer than me. I am never a spoiled child and that’s how DBSK makes a difference compared to other groups towards their own fandom.

DBSK were never “always” at the top, they have their own downfalls too and DBSK makes it sure that in every downfall, they are together with us. When the time comes for them to use all their mighty strength to get up, DBSK makes it sure that Cassiopeia stands up with them. I was taught about the importance of victory and most especially, the feeling of being sunken deep so that I will never make fun of other people who stumbled too.

They showed me… that life is never a bed full of roses, even for someone who is so famous like them.

DBSK is so much more than the pretty faces and beautiful voices. They shared to me every bit of them, even their souls and passion. It amazes me… that whenever they have the chance, they remind me of how much they love me and how grateful they are to have me. That it makes me question myself: “Do I have the guts to leave these boys’ side?”

In just a year… I can say that this is one of the best experiences I’ve had of being a Kpop fan and I sure am… that I will never dare to leave. They’ve taught me so many values, much more than what elementary school had taught me. DBSK has given me friends, has given me inspiration and courage to move forward.

Thank you DBSK… Thank you Yunho. Thank you Jaejoong. Thank you Yoochun. Thank you Junsu. Thank you Changmin and thank you my dear Cassiopeia. I’m grateful to have you guys in my life… :”)

I will continue on with this new life God has blessed upon me. I will cherish and continue to live on, not as a Kpop addict… because I was never one… but as a Cassiopeia who will continue chasing her dream as much as DBSK did. A Cassiopeia who will grow together with her boys… together with DBSK.

At first I thought I was the one protecting the fandom, that I was the one who need to hold on tighter to keep the faith stronger. It turned out that I’m wrong. They are the ones protecting me, they are the ones educating me and they are the ones who’re holding me tighter, making my faith stronger… because even if I have found many reasons to let go, I still find myself lost in their eyes.

I may not post often in this blog anymore. I’m quite busy… but don’t worry, in my heart, I will always be like this, one of the most emoshinki persons you must’ve known, a child who is sincerely loved by TVXQ and her fellow Cassies. :”)

HAPPY 1 YEAR TO ME! ❤

.

.

(Okay, the celebration is over, back to my Physics book. LOL)

.

Anyways, I love you Cassies! You can forget my name and even my blog but ALWAYS REMEMBER that we’re very lucky that we’re blessed with such heavenly guys. ❤

That thought alone… is more than enough for us to be thankful for having TVXQ in our lives. :”)

-cassieforever-

Let’s Make Our Boys Proud…

Have you voted on MAMA yet??

Sadly, in every category our dear TVXQ is in, they are always lagging behind.

I know we CAN make this turn around…

Let’s make our boys proud! 😀

Everyday, let’s continue to vote for them and promote them, remind everyone to vote.

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

Let’s get our boys on top…

We are their pride and so… we must prove it.

Now, I don’t want to hear these phrases: “Why vote? We all know TVXQ is the best…”

“we all know TVXQ is the winner..”

blah blah blah

Yes! We all know.

But does other people know?

Maybe not.

So Yes! We WILL let them know.

We will let them know who the Gods of Kpop are…

We will let them know that Cassiopeia still has it’s glory…

We will let them know…

Cassiopeia, BigEasts, International Cassies, everyone who loves TVXQ…

I’m calling you all,

let’s vote together!

Let’s win together! 😀

Make Yunho and Changmin proud…

Vote for them here:

http://mama.interest.me/visite?s=1351150345214

and as a congratulatory act, watch this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfUlE2LlGro

Don’t lose hope.

WE CAN.

and

WE WILL.

Together…

I Fell In Love With A Guy I Could Never Have…

 

I fell in love with a guy I could never have.

We’re countries apart.

Our age gap is nine years. He’s even older than my sister.

We don’t even speak the same language.

And around millions of people in the world, it’s only a percent of probability that we could ever meet, without even talking.

He’s a guy who is successful in his own career…

a guy who knows how to cook…

a guy who doesn’t leave people behind…

a guy who knows the feeling of rejection…

a guy who is frank enough to say what he feels…

a guy who smiles and make everyone laugh, even deep inside, he’s hurting…

He is a guy who values people in his life.

Without even meeting him personally, without even having a single idea about his family background, without even knowing how intelligent he is, without even knowing what his eye color is, without even knowing his date of birth, without even knowing his type of girls, without even knowing his likes and dislikes, without even knowing how he thinks, and what his principles in life are, I fell in love with him.

I don’t know his family background, but I fell in love with him because I know that he loves them so much.

I don’t know how intelligent he is, but I fell in love with him because I know that whatever he does, he thinks about it carefully.

I don’t know what his eye color is, but I fell in love with him because I know that his eyes always speak what his heart really feels.

I don’t know his date of birth, but I fell in love with him because I know that he is God’s gift for everyone who knows him.

I don’t know his type of girls, but I fell in love with him because I know that he takes love as a serious thing and never sees it as something to be played at.

I don’t know his likes and dislikes, but I fell in love with him because I know that he doesn’t pretend to be someone he isn’t and that he is proud of his own preferences.

I don’t know how he thinks and what his principles in life are, but I fell in love with him because I know that he thinks only for the common good, as he is a person molded by rejection and poverty.

We haven’t even met personally, but I fell in love with him because I felt something in him which I couldn’t explain.

In a single moment, my eyes see only him…

my mind could only think of him…

my mouth only speaks of him…

and my heart got stolen by him.

His face is something I could never pass a day without looking at.

His voice is something I could never forget how it sounded.

His laugh is the most remarkable one I have heard in my life.

His name is something my mind always remembers even if I am the busiest person on Earth.

He has become someone I could never live without.

He is a guy from the TV screen. Every time I would see him, it’s like I don’t want the time to end.

Every time I would hear his voice, it’s like the sound of angels, which could make me smile even in my darkest moment.

Every time I would see him with another girl, it feels like my whole world would shatter.

Every time I would see him kiss another girl, even if it’s because of his job, I could never tolerate that. I feel so furious, like he is my own. I feel cheated, like he knew about me.

I feel sad, disappointed, and heart-wrenched every time I would remember, that he is a guy whom I can only see on TV screen, a guy who doesn’t even have a single idea that I existed, a guy whom, even in my dreams, is still the farthest person to reach.

It feels so hard how I imagine the day would come when he falls in love with a girl, too. He has become my everything, my love. They say if you love someone, you have to set them free, and I guess, I am never exempted in that rule. As I am just a girl from the shadows, a girl in the crowd, a girl who is hiding behind the clouds, to which he would never hardly notice and take time to be with.

It’s so painful to realize the truth yet every time I see him, my heart spells the phrase I love you.

Every time I would see him smile, I am reminded that God has a reason why he showed me that man.

I am so happy and grateful because I fell in love with him.

My days have gotten so much brighter because I fell in love with him.

I cry endless tears and sadness because I fell in love with him.

Truly, I fell in love with a guy whom I could never live without yet the guy that I could never, ever have.

I fell in love with Kim Jaejoong ❤

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay, so I really feel silly after writing this one. They say that the hardest thing in being a fangirl is to fall in love with her bias and I must say that it really isssssssssss. T.T

I’m lacking sleep, I don’t feel so good yet I’m here, with a realization that after being a Cassie for 10 months, I actually fell in love with my bias ❤

Like really! I wanted to scratch myself because of this oneeeee. -____- Honestly…

Recently, Jae released a photo of him kissing his baby niece in a the cheek right? Did you know that I was slightly jealous with that one?? For real! OMGSun, I may just tear myself apart. I’m totally arguing with myself right now. -.-

Please don’t bash me like I’m a complete idiot for falling in love with her bias, okay? Because I already know! XD

*sigh*

I just hope the best for the whole DBSK not between me and that guy above! I just might send him a hate letter… Oohhh, that sounds good. LOL, If ever I get on my mood, I’ll make a letter expressing how much I hate-love him. ❤

Goodnight guys! I need to catch up with sleep…